When my 3year old niece swallowed my sister’s left AirPod, everyone started worrying right away. I was trying to lighten the situation, so I connected the AirPod to my phone and put my ear on her stomach to check if I could hear it. Surprisingly, I actually did hear a little sound coming from inside her, which made the moment a bit funny for me. But the people around us didn’t really find it amusing. They all looked at me like I wasn’t taking things seriously at all. I was just trying to calm the mood, but instead I ended up being the only one laughing while everyone else was still stressing about the AirPod inside her.

20F, my friend is 21F. I always carry a USB killer in my backpack. It looks like any other thumb drive except I stuck a tiny devil face sticker on it so I know it’s the dangerous one. I keep it on me because I still live at home and my parents are super nosy; if I ever left it on my desk they’d definitely pick it up and plug it into their laptop to “see what it is.” Yesterday I had to leave campus in a rush and asked my friend to watch my bag for a bit. I ended up not having time to come back so I just texted her to take it home and I’d grab it today. She said cool. She gets home, admits she got curious and started looking through my stuff, finds the devil sticker USB, thinks it’s my normal drive, plugs it into her gaming PC to see what files I have. Computer instantly dies, mobo and PSU completely gone. Now she’s mad at me, saying I’m reckless for carrying something like that and I need to buy her a whole new setup, even though she knows she shouldn’t have been digging around in my bag in the first place. I feel bad her PC is dead but come on, don’t snoop and don’t plug random drives into your computer. AITA?

Edit: I sent this to my son and dil. My son and dil ( Emily) are staying in our home probably for the next month due to water damage in there home. The company is fixing the damage but the flooring was damaged so it’s not very livable right now. They have only been here less than a week and I am having an issue. I work nights I come back home around 6:30 am and then go to bed. My husband is usually up so I make him a coffee/ breakfast before I turn in. Just something like to do, more quality time before he heads to work. I asked my son and Emily if they would also like coffee or breakfast before they go to work. They said no to food but yes to coffee. That was easy and I just made two extra cups. I asked them to tell me if they want me to change how to make their coffee. I thought they would just tell me, use this cream or if they had a preference on blend. Emily texted me last night and said she left instructions for the coffee. This morning I came home to very detail instructions how to make a complex coffee. It was like a Starbucks drink, she wanted foamed milk on top, different syrups, a specific coffee bean ( ground fresh…) and a difffernt brewing method ( we have a drip coffee machine) most of the stuff was one the counter. I decided I wasn’t doing that and just made the normal coffee. Emily wasn’t happy and we got into a argument before she went to work I basically told her I am not a Starbucks barrista and I am not going all that. She told me I shouldn’t have offered in the first place if I wouldn’t make the coffee to her liking. We left on a sour note. I have been getting texts from my son about not being hospitable so I am having trouble sleeping at the moment Should I just make the coffee

My (45F) son (15M) had been dating this one girl from his school for about one and a half months. In that 1.5 month period they probably saw each other outside of school like 7 times. They would always plan stuff, but maybe the day (sometimes the hour 🙄) before he’d say he couldn’t come because he had no ride, even though it was mostly because he wanted to do something else with his friends or stay home. And his girlfriend had enough of it and broke up with him a few days back. When he told me,I said good because he cancelled at that girl so many times and didn’t seem to want to date her anyways. And the girl was so nice too. My husband thought I was being insensitive so I posted this here. AITA?

To start throw away for privacy and sorry in advance for typos I need a new keyboard. So I (21M) work as a guard for a smallish warehouse. Since I started working here I decided to start carry a wide supply things that people may need in by backpack. Things like mints, gum, ibuprofen/Tylenol, bandages, etc. It got to the point where I earned the name Pack, as people joked that I was like a pack mule with all the shit i carried on me. Basically if someone needed something there was a 9/10 chance that I had it or something close. I did this as a way to talk to people and strike up conversations. This incident revolves around a couple basic items I carried. Feminine products. Things like pads, tampons, basic perfume/deodorant, and some lotion. I noticed my female coworkers often needed these and as we work night shift, no stores were open for them to run to on break. It was a massive success you could say, a lot of the women were either grateful that I had them or surprised that a guy wasn't ashamed to carry them. The incident surround one woman, Jane Doe. So it was last Monday and I was manning the gate with a coworker, John. As I am writing the logs for incoming trucks, Jane pulled up to leave through the gate. And John asks why she was leaving early, we have to ask, and Jane said she had to go get some pads. And I spoke up and said "John, go in my bag, zipper with the pink tag. There's regular and heavy." So John gets them and offers them to her and she takes some. And she just had this weird look on her face and mutter thanks and went back in to the warehouse. John and I didn't think anything of it and went back to our duties. Well flash forward to last Tuesday and I got called into HR. They sat me down and gave me a talking to for making a female coworker feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. I was confused and asked what they were talking about. HR clarified that Jane had lodged a complaint against me. Luckily they let me tell my side of the story and reviewed the camera footage from our gate booth. So HR cleared me and just advised me to steer clear of Jane for a while. Jane told all of her work friends about it, so a rumor was born that I was a creep.Well I can tolerate someone going to HR, cause if I did nothing wrong I have nothing to fear. But I wont tolerate being called a creep. (Context for that, I started balding at 16 and am overweight. So all through high school I was called "creepy" and "weird" for my looks.) So I decided that if it was creepy that I had these products, then I would stop carrying them. I took them out of my bag and left them in HRs office. This led to all of the women in the warehouse from asking me what happened and why I stopped carrying the products. I told the truth and referred them all to confirm with HR if they didn't trust me. Ever since Jane has been disliked and very unpopular. She called me an asshole for causing her to be alienated and basically bullied. I don't feel bad about it. So am I?

I have twin sons (aged 11) who are not identical, but who do look similar - their older sister looks pretty similar to them too. "James" is taller and slightly more slender in the face. "Ben" is more freckle-y and is noticeably paler. They have the same eye and hair colour, but James has longer hair, and his is more wavy than Ben's. James tends to be very neat and tidy while Ben is, somehow, always covered in ink and / or paint. In school, they are in uniform so are dressed identically. Classes are split by ability but their scores are close enough to each other that they are in the same groups for everything though they have different friendship groups and different hobbies. Both go to Chess Club though that is the only club / sport they have in common and most of the time, they don't interact much in school and each does their own thing. They have, however, when asked, told me they do sometimes get called the wrong name still even though they have been there since September. Both boys have permission to take medication in school due to seasonal allergies and eczema - antihistamines and eczema cream is stored in school for the boys to access as and when needed. They use different medication and creams which is personal preference - one has liquid and one has tablets and they use different creams as they find different ones helpful. I have sent in the permission slips and meds and left it at that. I got an email over the holiday regarding the medication. It states the instances of the boys being mixed up are "not reducing" as they look so similar and the Medical Officer (secondary schools in the UK do not have a school nurse) is concerned the wrong child will be given the wrong medication. As such, she has asked me to ensure the boys are "easy to distinguish" going forwards. My initial reaction is absolutely not. It is up to the person administering the medication to ensure they are giving it to the right person and that can easily be done by asking the child what his name is. They are 11 years old, they are more than capable of giving the right name and have no interest at all in swapping places for the sake of getting each others meds. I do understand the concern in terms of making sure the right medication is given to the right child, but the responsibility for that lies solely with the school while they are in the care of the school, and I will not be send them back after the holiday looking in any way "easy to distinguish." WIBTA if I told the school it was their responsibility to make sure they have the right child, not mine?

My husband and I live abroad. Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance (let’s call him “K”) reached out saying he’d been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay. At first, we only offered a weekend, but he was polite, helped around the house, and seemed grateful, so we ended up letting him stay the full 20 days he’d asked for. During that time, some things rubbed us the wrong way. He never bought groceries, and multiple times he pretended he was going to pay but “forgot his wallet” or claimed he could only use Apple Pay (not accepted at our local supermarket). He’d eat way more than his share (once my husband and I shared half a pizza and he ate the other pizza and a half without contributing). Still, we felt bad for him, so we let it go. We stayed friendly, and a few months later we were planning a 17-day trip. Since he was struggling with rent, we offered him to stay at our place in exchange for taking care of our dog. I even wrote a Google Doc with instructions for the house, dog care, gym access, etc. I told him he could eat anything that was going to expire (fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc.). When we came back… EVERYTHING was gone. And I mean everything. The entire fridge, freezer, pantry. He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, rice, snacks, cheese, even my husband’s supplements (creatine, protein, collagen). He completely destroyed a ceramic pan. He consumed things that usually last us six months in just 2 weeks. I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him because it’s insane how much was missing. I didn’t confront him except to ask him to replace the pan, which he mocked me about (“it’s just a pan, why are you making it a big deal?”). I felt deeply disrespected. Now he keeps texting me, acting like nothing happened, and wants to hang out. I told my husband I don’t want him in our home ever again. My husband says I’m being too harsh, and if he wants to stay friends, that’s his choice, but I feel completely taken advantage of and disrespected. So… AITA for not wanting to see this guy ever again and refusing to let him come back to our house?

My (M20) parents divorced when i was 16, and it was messy. I live with my mom now and, her boyfriend "Mark" (43), and Marks son "Liam" (11). Im in my second year of college, which is its own special kind of stress with exams and projects. The dynamic is fine, usually. Mark is okay, but he has a habit of assuming im a newly acquired babysitter. Liam is a good kid, but wasn't raised properly (which is another entire thing) and he's just 11, he's energetic, loud, and is very impersonal and doesn't understand the concept of personal space yet. The issue happened this past Saturday. I had a massive assignment due on Monday morning, and I was planning on spending the entire weekend at the library on campus. On Saturday morning, as I'm packing my bag, Mark comes to me to let me know he and my mom are going away and i need to keep an eye on Liam. I was immediately stressed, so I told him i can't and that i have to go to uni to focus on my uni work. He waved me off and said its fine and i should take him along with me to campus and keep him busy on the tablet. immediately i was liek fuck no, im not taking an 11 year old kid to my university while i need to focus on a big submission. I said no, trying to be firm, saying that i cannot be responsible for him for an entire day at my uni, and i asked if he couldn't stay at a friends or at his grandma's or moms. Marks face fell and he looked genuinely annoyed. He told me its just one day and that trying to organise stuff with other parents and family would be too much of a hassle, and that the least i could do was help out. I couldn't take it honestly, so i snapped. Ive been under a lot of pressure for printing assignments and group work etc, and that was lowk the last straw. I told him that Liam is HIS son, not mine, he is NOT my responsibility, I didn't choose to have a kid when i wasnt ready and my only obligation is to get my degree and move out. They both went silent for a bit, visibly upset and after a while Mark just said its fine and that i shouldn't bother asking them favours in the future. My mom later that day texted me and said i was disrespectful and hurtful, which i did lose my temper slightly but i feel like they had no right to try and force Liam as my responsibility so last minute. AITA for what i said?

This still weighs on me. Some background: my mom was abusive growing up. It got bad enough that at 12, I left home through the courts and moved in with my dad. That decision fractured our family. On the court paperwork, under “Name of child,” she wrote something like, “I have no son.” I’ve carried that with me ever since. I had little contact with her after that. Briefly at 17, again in my early 20s, and not consistently until much later. I’m now almost 40. I spent over 20 years drinking heavily and finally got sober in 2018, which is when I made an effort to reconnect with my family, including my mom. She’s closer to 70 now and has zero contact with 2 of her 3 kids. Reconnecting wasn’t easy. When I asked if she ever reflected on the abuse, she told me I was an adult and needed to “let it go already.” That was a turning point. I realized any forgiveness would be one-sided. If I wanted peace, it was on me. Since then, our relationship has been rocky, but present. We’ve had family reunions and even travelled overseas together for three weeks. We argue often, usually over small things, but we stayed in contact until this. Last summer, I invited her to my city to see a band she’s loved since I was young. The plan was simple: she’d arrive on Wednesday, we’d go to the concert on Thursday, she’d fly out to visit my sisters on Friday, and I’d leave early Saturday for my own trip. She agreed. When she arrived, she mentioned she’d only bought a one-way ticket and would book the Friday flight later. That made me uneasy, and I reminded her several times to make sure it was booked. I thought I was clear in my wording and tone that I didn’t want anyone staying in my house while I was gone. Friday came. The concert was fine. Then she told me she still hadn’t bought a plane ticket, and now, with prices having gone up, she planned to stay a few extra days… while I was away. I told her plainly, “I’m leaving at 5 a.m. tomorrow. You need to get on that plane.” I even offered to cover the extra cost. She refused and invited herself to stay at my place. That’s when I said clearly that I wasn’t comfortable with anyone staying in my home while I wasn’t there. She accused me of not trusting her and said she was my mother. I said it wasn’t about trust, I just didn’t want anyone in my house. The argument escalated. Finally, she said, “Fine. Take me to the airport.” I think she expected me to cave. I didn’t. I packed the car, grabbed my daughter, and drove her to the airport in silence. When we arrived, it felt like a standoff, like she was waiting for me to say, “Never mind, don’t go.” I didn’t. I took her bag out, set it on the curb, and told her, “If you can’t find a ticket, let me know. I can help you pay for a hotel.” Then I left. Months later, I’m still thinking about it. I don’t think I stranded my mom with no options. I offered to cover the cost of the flight and hotel. But I did leave her at the airport knowing she hadn’t booked a ticket. AITA?

This happened a couple of years ago but I was talking about crazy MIL stories with a friend and she thinks I was an AH. I have sole custody of my children. My ex and his family live about a 9 hour drive from me. One day at around 9am there was knocking on my bedroom window. I peeked through the bottom of the blinds and just see woman’s sneakers. So I peek higher and make eye contact with my ex’s mom. All I can think is WTF? The apartments where I live are not gated so anybody can drive onto the property, just not go in buildings without a key. Which means, ex’s mom couldn’t knock on my door because she couldn’t enter my building. Anyway, now that she’s seen me I change and go see why she’s there. Only reason why she has my address is because a few months back she asked to mail some stuff for the kids & I dumbly gave her my address. She tells me she was in the neighborhood. I asked her why she didn’t call me before arriving and she said it was a “last minute decision”. I let her in and she sees the kids for a bit. When she leaves I tell her next time she needs to give me a heads up before arriving, and I’m not talking 10 minutes before, I need at least a 1 week notice. So, this is where I might be the AH. About 4 months later she pulls this stunt AGAIN. When I hear the tapping on my window. I know exactly who it is. I don’t bother looking out the window. She starts calling me. After the 5^(th) call, I answer. She tells me to open up because she wants to see the kids. I’m like what? I’m not even home- why she didn’t tell me she was coming? I’m 45 minutes away visiting my dad with the kids. She demands dad’s address - I refuse to give it to her. I tell her I have no idea when I will be home. Yes, complete lie. Anyway, she doesn’t believe me, she thinks I’m home, again says it was a last minute decision. I hang up on her, I’m getting texts from ex demanding I let his mom see the kids. I tell him what I told her -I’m not home. Imagine my surprise when I hear the police banging on my door a few minutes later! I don’t answer. I get a call from a random number - the police officer. He is there to perform a wellness check because ex’s mom hasn’t heard from me in 3 days and she’s extremely worried. Also, according to him, it is illegal not to answer the door when a police officer knocks. I tell him she is lying- I just spoke to her on the phone, she showed up unannounced. I made it clear to her not to do that, and I am out with family and I don’t need to come back just because she showed up unannounced, she is ex’s mom and I don’t have to talk to her.  After that phone call I get a text from ex calling me an AH and how hard would it have been to let his mom see the kids when she drove all the way there just to see them. I want to make it clear – I don’t mind her visiting, I don’t mind her being around my kids – but I cant stand her showing up unannounced and demanding to see my kids like that. It was like she was on a weird power trip.

My wife’s best friend (Jessie) lost her husband about a month ago. My wife has been at her home almost every single day since.  My job has me being on call some nights and money is tight so I can’t not be on call. I know Jessie is struggling but it is stressing me out a ton to be a basically a single parent  since my wife is never home. I have talked to her about cutting back but that ends in an argument about me being heartless. Yesterday I was on call and I actually got called in. I couldn’t leave our two daughters home alone ( 6 & 9) so I called my wife telling her she needs to head home now, I need to leave.  She told me no, and to figure it out.  We don’t have the money for a sitter,  my parents  live too far away, her parent aren’t allowed near the kids ( they suck) and my friends have their own lives/families. So I packed up the kids and one my way to work dropped them off at Jessie’s house. My wife was pissed that I did that. When I got back we got into a huge argument and I told her that she actually needs to be a parent. That I am very sick of her playing house at Jessie’s house and we have our own kids.  She thinks I am “ a heartless fucking man” and I told her to be parent to our own kids 

Throwaway bc my roommates know my main account. So, I (23M) live in a college apartment with 3 roommates, two of which are women, and one of them is Muslim (let's call her sana). We all get along pretty well and have lived together for over a year with no issues. Yesterday, Sana told us her mom was visiting for the upcoming weekend. For info, her mom is very conservative and religious, and apparently doesn’t approve of her daughter living with male roommates (Awkward because I exist). As a result, Sana asked if I could leave the apartment entirely for the day her mom was visiting. Like, be out the whole day and even find somewhere else to sleep overnight. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that bc I had a major assignment due, and I focus best when I’m working from home. I also didn’t wanna have to pack up all my stuff and go stay somewhere else just to keep up an appearance for someone I don’t even know. Additionally, I pay equal rent and felt like I had a right to be in the apartment. Still, to try and compromise, I offered to stay in my room the entire day and be quiet/ not come out at all on the condition that I’d at least be allowed to quickly come out to make lunch or dinner, or they could just bring food to my room so I wouldn’t starve. I genuinely thought that was fair and respectful. But no, sana wasn’t happy with that and insisted I should be out of the apartment entirely. She said her mom would “freak out” if she found out a guy lived there and it would cause a lot of drama in her family. I said while I understood her position, I wasn't going to dip from my own home, especially with a big deadline hanging over me. She's still pissed and being pretty cold toward me now and also vented to our other roommate, who stayed neutral and said she saw both sides. I really wasn’t trying to be difficult or disrespectful. I understand her cultural situation, but I also feel like it’s unfair to expect someone to completely vacate their home just to accommodate someone else’s family’s beliefs especially when I tried to find a middle ground. So, AITA?

More context: We were out to dinner one night at an expensive hotel. My boyfriend let me borrow his Canon G7X (1800) camera to bring to take pictures with my friends. At the conclusion of the dinner, I went up to the room and realized the camera was gone. I went back right down to the table and no one had seen it. I immediately got with hotel security and she is on video, clear as day, swiping the camera when my back was turned and shoving it in her purse. I covered for her initially with my friend, and contacted her to find a resolution. She had taken the camera with her and my other friends to a club after dinner, which I did not attend, and lost it there. For background, this is my good college friend who I know well (the camera thief). She has been taken on free trips to Coachella and St Barths on my dime (not kidding), as well as many other things. We have done a lot together and are good friends, so I expected her to feel sorry. Initially she lied, saying she did not have it. When I told her we had video, she confessed and then said yes she took it but lost it at the next bar she went to with my other friends. It is now gone. I asked her to help me replace it by going in on me with the cost. She has refused all measured or resolutions, and now I feel I have nothing left to do but file a police report and let them handle it. It is impacting my relationship, and I am furious my friend is not helping at all. Why should I be on the hook for something she stole? I have given her three weeks to help me resolve this, but she insists she is going to do nothing. I am being pressed by my boyfriend to either replace the camera or help him file a report with her info and the footage. I even asked her to just throw in half or less than half the cost to help, but she still refuses. I do not want her to get in trouble, but I am at the point where I feel she really does not care. UPDATE: I sent her a text this AM telling her if I do not receive full cost of the camra or shipping confirmation of a new camera from an approved vendor to a provided address by end of day Friday, we will be filing a report with the police Saturday AM. I felt like an asshole typing this out to her, but I have to do it.

My family and I celebrate Thanksgiving every year with my siblings, parents, and their kids. Roughly 20-25 people (including kids). My family is only 2 people with one 6 month old baby. In the group chat it was decided that my nephew would cook meat since he bought a grill. He also told us that we could bring the sides. He chose to spend $300 on meat. I messaged in the group chat that we would bring mashed potatoes. My sister responding that every "family" has to bring $100 worth of food minimum or help my nephew pay for the meat. I'm not totally against the idea of bringing that much food, but just the way it was presented and the fact that it wasn't agreed to beforehand makes me upset. The following day in the group chat, my sister said: "Option 1: bring food enough for everyone, not just yourself Option 2: help thomas pay for meet $100/family Option 3: help dad pay water bill $200/family. Choose wisely…" Upset, I responded with Option 4: don't show up. Am I being an asshole if I don't show up at all in "protest" to this $100 minimum rule? Update: I'm a teacher and she posted a picture of my salary she found online to shame me in the group chat. Definitely not going now.

This happened over the holidays and my wife is still upset with me over it. Our family went to visit my in-laws for New Year's. It's about a 3-4 hour drive. Mostly highway but it takes us through two metro areas with pretty significant traffic. My wife (37F) gets nervous about driving in traffic so I always drive when we visit her family. She also tends to get car sick on longer drives and needs to sit in the front seat to help ease it. She has tried taking Dramamine in the past but she's had an allergic reaction to it so she doesn't take it anymore. I love my wife with all my heart, but she is not good sitting shotgun. She makes huge reactions to any change in traffic. Grabbing the handle, putting her hand on the dash, gasping, telling me to watch out, etc. It's not like I'm an aggressive or risky driver. I've never gotten a speeding ticket or been in an accident. But if there's a car a half mile ahead of us that puts on their brakes, she freaks out and acts like we're all about to die. It's incredibly distracting. I've talked to her multiple times about how her reactions actually makes it more difficult for me to concentrate on driving but she says she can't control herself because she's nervous in traffic. On the way to her family's place she sat up front with me and traffic was pretty bad. Lots of slowdowns due to weather conditions and in general just kind of slow going. But I've been driving in cold weather my whole life and know how to control my speed and give lots of extra space to any surrounding cars. I understand that you can't control anyone else on the road and that accidents happen, but I do everything in my control to keep my car and the people inside safe. The entire drive my wife was on edge making all the reactions I mentioned. It's very distracting to have someone next to you doing that sort of thing while driving. I mentioned this to my wife numerous times on the drive and she always deflected blame at me for the way I was driving. When we were getting ready to head home, I told my wife she needs to sit in the back and our 14-year-old son will sit up front with me. I told her it's either that or she drives us home. She got upset with me and started giving excuses about her car sickness. I told her to take some Nyquil or something else to help her sleep but she refused and told me I'm being a jerk. I told her that she can drive then and she refused that too. Eventually, she reluctantly got in the backseat with our 11-year-old daughter. The ride home was much easier traffic-wise and my wife sat pretty much silent in the backseat the entire time, pouting. When we got home she told me that she felt ill the entire drive but didn't say anything because she "didn't want to make a big deal out of anything." She told me I humiliated her by making her sit in the back and that I should be more considerate of her feelings.

My best friend and her husband have 4 kids, 8f, 6f, 4f, and 3f. My friend’s husband is a great dad when someone is there to help. When he’s alone with all 4 kids he gets overwhelmed and freezes. A few weeks ago my friend was sick so I brought over dinner. We thought it was just a bad cold. When we were eating, my friend went to the bathroom and the 3 year old followed her. 3 year old came running out saying her mom was throwing up. All of the kids ran to the bathroom, followed by me and my friend’s husband. I helped her clean up while her husband went to get her nausea medicine and a thermometer. When he came back I asked him to get the kids out of the bathroom so she could have some space. After we got the kids out, I took her temp and it came back at almost 104, so I went out to get her some Tylenol and water. I get back and the kids are all in the bathroom again because their dad can’t keep them away from the bathroom for 2 minutes. I give her the Tylenol and water and she almost immediately starts to vomit again, then passes out. Her husband just stood there while I was trying to get her into recovery position, get the kids away from her, and call 911. I managed to get all of them out of the bathroom and her husband is coming back every 20 seconds asking if I can call their nanny to help with the kids, if I can go to the hospital with her, did I start the dishwasher or does he need to hand wash the youngest’s sippy cup, etc. When my friend regained consciousness, he even started asking her how to do bedtime for the little ones, did she wash their pajamas yet, did they get screen time that day or can he put on a movie. I told him his wife couldn’t hold his hand right now and he just had to figure it out. He told me he’s not usually the one that deals with this and he’s trying his best, then goes back to asking what stories the kids like, what setting does he put the sound machine on, and how do they like their milk. I just snapped and told him to figure it out on his own and called him a useless piece of shit. It’s been nearly a month and he still acts all pissy when I stop by the house. My friend says he’ll get over it but my boyfriend thinks I was unnecessarily rude and he was trying his best. AITA for calling him a useless piece of shit when he couldn’t handle his own kids while his wife was experiencing a medical emergency?

I (30F) came back from Japan about two months ago and brought home an expensive bottle of sake I specifically picked after doing a sake tasting class. I'm not a big drinker, so I chose something I genuinely liked and that my husband would enjoy. It was meant as a "for us" thing. I also had an unopened bottle of German wine that a friend gifted me three months ago. My husband and I had multiple conversations where he asked if he could give the sake to his father, his cousin, or his friends, and I said a strict no every single time. Not vaguely, not jokingly, very clearly. He knew it was sentimental and partially a souvenir. He also refused to drink it the one time I opened it because he had a headache, so I had about 20 ml and left the rest untouched. Fast forward to three days ago: I'm away from home, and he has friends over after a pub night. I didn't even consider that he would touch the sake or the wine because we've had the "don't share this" conversation *a million times*. The next day, I ask him where the sake is. He casually tells me he shared the sake and the unopened wine with his friends, and they finished everything. I was stunned. Angry. Disappointed. All of it. He then says he "forgot" that I told him not to give it to anyone. Then adds that he "doesn't remember unimportant stuff." Bear in mind, I had even given him a bottle of whisky specifically meant for his friends after I returned from my travel. When I confronted him about the sake and wine, he flipped it and said "Don't let it spoil our relationship" and suggested I see a counselor. AITA for being this upset over something he claims is "not a big deal," even though I'd told him explicitly and repeatedly not to touch it? I'm unable to process the fact that my husband casually crossed a major boundary and is nonchalant about it. Edit: Husband and his friends are not alcoholics. He rarely indulges. Second edit: He said, "Don't let it spoil our relationship,", not "throwing away the relationship..." Sincere apologies.

We went to a restaurant for my MIL bday lunch. When orders were being taken, SIL announced that ALL the kids would be having kids meal tenders and fries with juice. My 9yo and 4yo eat adult meals, 2 chicken tenders and handful of fries will not fill them up so when the waiter got to me, I told him my kids will have adult meals since I'm the one paying for them, so they ordered their meals and my SIL was pissed. She said I embarrassed her and made her kids question her, because she told them they were getting "the same thing all the other kids were eating"...so. Am I the AH?

My niece (11) is the youngest child with 4 older brothers. She’s also the youngest cousin/grandchild and the only girl. Between that and the fact that she was very sick when she was little, she’s a little spoiled by everyone except her parents. When she turned 11, she told her mom she wanted to go on a weekend trip with just her and her mom. Her mom made a big deal about her wanting to exclude her dad and brothers. They refused to do the trip and also didn’t plan anything for her birthday so I took her on her trip myself. Last month was one of her brothers birthdays. He decided that for his birthday, he wanted everyone to go to Mexico except for my niece. Her parents agreed that it was fair because if she wanted a trip without them, they can get one without her. They asked me if I could watch her for 10 days. My niece was so upset so I decided to plan a surprise trip for her. I have some clients in Miami so I arranged for us to go there for 5 days, drive up to Orlando for 3 days, then fly to New York for 2 days, where I also had to get some work done. It was technically a work trip but I was able to plan a lot of fun outings for my niece. Just before their trip to Mexico, I told my nieces parents that I had to be in Florida and New York for work during their trip but I could take her with me. Since it was so last minute, they had to agree as they didn’t have any other childcare and couldn’t miss this trip. She had a blast. We spent a day in Disney world, went to 2 broadway shows, spent most of our time in Florida on the beach, did a lot of shopping, got room service for the first time, and our tickets were upgraded so we flew first class on our way home. Her parents are mad that I spoiled her and undermined them so I don’t get to see her as much as I used to (I’m still their after school childcare so I see her a few days a week) and they’re going around telling extended family that I took their kid across the country without permission because I was upset about her being punished for being rude

throw away account cause i don’t want my roommate to see this since i was a teenager i've always slept naked. i always get too hot at night and its just generally way more comfortable for me to sleep that way. whenever i leave my room i'm always dressed, or at the very least have shorts or something on if i'm going to/from the shower. my roommate knows this and up to this point has had no problem with it and we always knock on each others doors anyway to be polite. the issue started when he brought over his girlfriend to stay a couple nights. we all get along pretty well and have all hung out a few times before, but this was the first time she had come over and spent the night. we had all gone out drinking and got home pretty late so once we all walked in we just went straight to sleep. i, of course, went to bed with my usual routine of getting naked and hopping in bed. well, sometime during the night my roommate's girlfriend needed to use the bathroom, but she didn't know which room it was. my room and the bathroom are right next to each other and she opened my door by mistake. i have a vague memory of her opening my door, but i was half asleep and when she closed it i went right back to sleep. the next morning i woke up and my roommate and his girlfriend were upset with me because when she walked in she saw everything and she was mad i would sleep naked when a guest was over in the first place. they both said i need to start wearing clothes to sleep since my roommate's girlfriend is gonna probably be sleeping over more often and it makes her uncomfortable. my argument was that i'm in my own private space away from them and that while i understand it was a mistake, it's still her fault that she walked in on me sleeping. its been a few days and my roommate still won't let it go. i still sleep naked, and now once on purpose he's walked in on me sleeping just to see if i was naked or not. i don't really care about him seeing me naked cause we've seen each other naked before, but this is getting really out of hand. i don't think i should have to wear clothes to sleep just because it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable even though i'm in my own private room. tl;dr my roommate's girlfriend walked in on me sleeping naked in my own room and now they both want me to start wearing clothes to sleep edit: to everyone saying i should lock my door or add a lock, i would really like to. unfortunately the place we're staying at doesn't want us to change the door handles or anything so i can't do that. however i am currently looking into ways to stop my door from opening that isn't like a barricade or that drills into the door/wall

I (21m) am a college student. I’m in a frat and I’m gay. It’s not a conservative group (no one has ever given me shit for it) but I’m the only one. Every year my college has a date party to celebrate the end of finals. I didn’t pick the theme; it’s “split a suit.” Basically take the components of a suit and you have to divide that amongst you and your date. I saw the writing on the wall; a lot of guys being shirtless with blazers and suit pants, and a lot of girls in oversized dress shirts and ties with no pants. The issue was that didn’t apply to me. I ended up asking a guy from my class I’ve been casually talking to as a first time hanging out situation (don’t worry, he’s gay too, I’m not delusional). I asked him what he felt comfortable wearing and he said he prefers to be dressed so I told him he could do the dress shirt and pants and I’d be fine with the remainder. So basically I wore a blazer, was shirtless with a tie, and had on boxer briefs. Which, to me, is on theme. None of the guys had an issue but a friend’s gf came up to me and said that it was inappropriate and I was making the girls uncomfortable. I felt embarrassed so my date and I left. My date said I had misled him what the party would be like and I was an AH for not dressing appropriately. Now I feel like a jerk. AITA?

My son (23M) graduated university back in June and he moved back across the country to live with us since he found a job in the area. He’s been in a long distance relationship with his girlfriend, Carmella (21F) until October. She initially took a semester off from college and was living with her mom. However, she’s decided she’s not going back. Her mom said she would have to move out and she had nowhere to go. My son is moving into his own place in January and had invited her to move in already, saying she could get a job in the area. However, she needed to move out sooner, and they both asked me if she could move in. I agree. Neither are paying rent as I personally don’t believe in charging my kids to live here, so it felt wrong to charge Carmella any. I just asked that they clean up after themselves and be respectful of everyone. They agreed. Carmella moved in after Halloween and she’s been a joy to have here. She’s still looking for a job. Most nights, she’s offered to cook dinner to give back to us. I’ve always told her it’s not necessary, but she insists. She’s a good cook, so I tell her if she wants to, have at it.  A week into her living here, she mentioned wanting to make a certain dish but we didn’t have the ingredients. I offered to give her my card so she could buy groceries. Since then, it’s become a regular thing. I didn’t mind it initially. She picked up my groceries as well, and it seemed to be a good deal all around. But then a couple of weeks in, she started wanting to make multiple trips a week and buy things that I normally wouldn’t budget for on a regular basis, such as steak and seafood. I asked her on Sunday when she went to the store to please get everything she needed in one trip. She said okay. I thought that solved the problem. Cut to Monday night, and we finish dinner. She and my son are talking while I’m doing the dishes. Carmella mentions wanting to make steak on Thursday. My son says that sounds good. Carmella says she’ll have to go back to the store. My son turns to me and says “Mom, give her the card.” I tell them no. I say I already gave her money to go shopping on Sunday and told her to get everything she needed. I also said we can’t swing everyone having steaks this week  (6 people in the house), but maybe I can make them for Christmas dinner. I then go on to say if Carmella wants to keep cooking for us, which I appreciate, I am going to put her on a budget. I apologize for not doing it sooner. Carmella looks upset and my son seems offended. Later on, my son tells me I “embarrassed” Carmella when she’s just trying to be nice. I said I appreciate her cooking dinner, but she’s doing it on my dime, and I can’t afford this. I pointed out he’s free to give her money to do this. My son pointed out they’re only here “a few more weeks”, can’t I just make “my guest” happy? Am I really in the wrong here?

I recently bought a car from my aunt and uncle and paid full price for what it was worth ($18,000). I had no problem paying that because I know the car was maintained well and honestly I would not give a family member a discount on something that big either. The problem is my grandma has been boasting to everyone that my aunt gave me the car for free. Idk why she is saying that but it really pissed me off. I worked hard to pay cash for that car and I do not want people thinking I get handouts. So I went to her and politely asked her not to tell people that. Instead she flips it on me and says, “Oh so you want everyone thinking your aunt and uncle made you pay full price? What kind of person does that? Family is supposed to take care of family.” Then she literally shut the door in my face like I was the problem. I told her straight up that it makes me look bad, someone who works 60 to 80 hours a week, if people believe I am just getting handouts.

Our water was shut off today temporarily, and we both had to use the bathroom. I went first, and used the running water from our RO system to wash my hands, since that was the only option besides hand sanitizer. After my wife used the bathroom she immediately sat on the couch next to me, and I asked her “are you going to wash your hands?” She said that she’s not using our only drinking water to wash her hands. That would be understandable, but the plumber will be here within the hour to fix the problem. And also we can go to the store if we really run out of water. I said well at least use hand sanitizer and she said her hands were clean, and then she informed me that she doesn’t wash her hands every time she poops! I told her that’s disgusting and horrible hygiene. She said if she doesn’t get poop on her hands she doesn’t wash. I again said that’s disgusting and horrible hygiene practice. She thinks I’m overreacting and being an asshole, and now she’s refusing to talk to me until I apologize. I don’t think I need to apologize for anything, and I’m not overreacting. So was I being an asshole or am I overreacting? Is that not disgusting?

I (20f) was recently told by my coworker (40m) that he and his wife (37f) were getting divorced for context they had just gotten married last year after dating his wife for 10 years. I've worked at this job since i was 16 and this coworker has become my closest work friend so i was first to know of the engagement and now of the divorce. we bonded over our shared love of videogames (this is relevant i swear). we both played a lot of games and would talk about the ones we love the most. in the time I've know him he's loved final fantasy 14, which is an online game you play with other people. he talked about this game and the people he would hang out with in the game constantly, talking about the hours he spends playing it every day. shortly after he and his wife had gotten married he started complaining about her and her neediness. when i asked about it he would say she wanted him to spend time with her instead of playing video games. i had told him at the time that he should be making time for his wife but he ignored me. over the next year he was constantly complaining about her and her "neediness" and i would suggest taking some time off of his game to hangout with her but my idea was always shutdown. eventually i got fed up with him and asked him to stop bringing it up with me and he did for about 2 months. that's when he told me about her asking for a divorce. I casually mentioned that i wasn't surprised that she was divorcing him seeing as he loved final fantasy more than her. i didn't really think before i spoke and just said what i had been thinking every time he brought up his relationship problems. he was shocked at my response and seemed taken aback. i continued saying all you ever talk about are videogames and every thing you ever told me about your wife was negative. he got very upset with me and complained about it too our other coworkers and our boss. we work in a kitchen with only about 10 staff members so it wasn't too long before everybody knew about what i said. our boss stayed out of it, not seeing my comment as bad enough to warrant any kind of action. Some of my coworkers around my age who also frequently talked with this coworker took my side wile the older ones took his. it has divided the kitchen staff and has made it uncomfortable to work with some of my coworkers who think I'm in the wrong. So, AITAH for saying i wasn't surprised about my coworkers divorce?

Last night my husband, our 2 year old daughter and I were at my in-laws. My sister-in-law and her husband and kids were there too. The topic of one of their cousin's kids going to university came up. We talked about how going to a good university helps in networking. I mentioned how I had gotten my first Business Analyst job because my interviewer had also gone to UofT. At this point my SIL chimed in with "UofT Mississauga right? So not the actual one?" My husband said politely that its the same thing and she just shrugged. I asked her where she went, she said she went to UofT and added St.George Campus. I then asked how she's using her degree (I knew shes a SAHM so thats why Im here that might have been an AH thing to say). She said she chose to be a SAHM mom and kind of stopped talking to me. My husband thinks I was out of line. Admittedly I didn't think it through when I said it, just said what came to my mind. He says her question was tactless but not malicious. I said it was rude and thats what mattered. And the premise of it was just wrong. But I have been reconsidering it. She has texted him about how out of line I was. He's told her it was a misunderstanding between everyone and to let it go. AITA?

I (42F) have been hosting an end-of-summer party with my neighbors for years. It’s always the same setup: adults and kids come, we all celebrate together, and at some point the kids go to sleep while the adults continue the evening. This year’s plan was the same: I was going to bring my kids (6 & 10yo) inside to sleep at our home which is right next to the backyard. From the balcony there is both audio and visual access to the yard, and my kids also have a phone they can use to call me if needed. After putting them to bed I planned to go back to the backyard for a little while longer to enjoy the evening with friends. I invited my boyfriend of 6 months (46M) and his kids (5 & 7yo) to join us. He declined, saying he didn’t feel comfortable leaving his kids to sleep at my place since they hadn’t stayed there before. He also didn’t like the idea of putting them to bed at my place while he stayed outside with me, or going to bed with them while I stayed outside. I told him I understood completely, and I didn’t have a problem with him choosing not to come. But then he got upset and said that he and his kids weren’t actually welcome at the party because of the way the party was set up. I explained that this party has been running for years with the same format, and it’s not really something I can or want to change for one guest. My view is that guests can decide if the event works for them, and if not, they don’t have to come. In his opinion I should have left the party with him and our kids when it was bedtime. On top of that, during the party I didn’t have time to call him because I wanted to focus on my guests and enjoy the evening. He was very hurt by this too, saying I should have made time. This all turned into a big argument. So: AITA for not changing the setup of a tradition (and for not calling during the party) to accommodate my boyfriend and his kids?

I was shopping around our city’s yard sales yesterday and stopped to look through some clothes. While I was looking a guy walked up and asked the old lady running the sale if she had anything golf related. My ears perked up because I have just recently gotten into golf. The lady said she had her late husband’s clubs but didn’t know what they would be worth so she dragged them out to show the guy. It was obvious the guy knew golf by the way he took a couple practice swings and you could tell by his car and clothing he appeared to be well off. As he looked around the bag the lady was telling him that her husband had just passed and that she didn’t know if the clubs were worth anything. He said they weren’t that great and offered $200 for everything. She seemed hesitant and said she didn’t know and he just kind of talked over her and said “here I’ll go grab the money” and walked towards his car. I walked over to see what was in the bag and for anyone who knows golf I’ll throw this out there. Almost new GT3 driver and 3 wood Gently used mizuno Irons Nice titlest wedges A very nice looking Scotty putter Great condition titelist cart bag This stuff combined would be a steal at 1k. Obviously this ladies late husband had spent a good penny on the clubs and I felt bad for her so I told her she should pass on that guys offer and have someone at a local course’s pro shop help her price the stuff out to sell if she wanted. She seemed totally shocked when I told her the driver and 3 wood were probably worth 800 alone. When the guy came back he was glaring at me and when he tried to hand the lady the cash she said no thanks and that she was going to get the stuff appraised. He got upset and told her she can’t back out of a deal so I chimed in that they didn’t really make a deal. He got pissed at me and told me I needed mind my business. The lady then told him she wasn’t interested again and to please leave. He walked to the e d of the driveway and just stood there angry like my toddler would. Before he walked away he called me an asshole and stomped off. The whole thing was more funny than anything to me. I was telling this story to my coworkers today and they were all dogging on me saying I should have kept my mouth shut and let the guy get the good deal but it felt wrong letting him rip her off. So am I the asshole here?

update: I am still going to give them the ipads and for the first few weeks they will stay at my place and then I will let them take them home but I will be monitoring them They deserve to have nice things at home even if mom is a dick. I am also going to inform her in text that this is a loan and I am going to make it very clear that if she does sell them I will file a report with the police and persue it. I can literally see where the iPad are online. ( I don’t like it but she needs to stop doing this shit and it if have to presue it then I will). I edit: she is locked out of everything. The cloud is in my name, with my own passcodes, that’s locked. I had the people help me do this so no one else can get it. unless she gets hacking skills to rival apple engineera she will not be able to wipe them alos I dont find it fair that the kid can’t have nice stuff because of her. I only see them usually ones every two weeks. They should be able to use their nice stuff at home or take it to a friends house ——-//——- My son works on carbo ships, he is hard to contact and is gone for weeks to months at a time. He will not be around for the holidays. He is married to Daisy. Life has been rough for the couple the past two years. Daisy became unemployed and hasn’t found work that is flexible enough with the kids. My son is gone often so he can’t help with the kids. A common issue that has been happening is that Daisy will sell the kids things online for extra cash. I really don’t approve especially since she still is getting her nails done every two weeks still. The kids get into trouble and so she sells there things. My granddaughter only had her new switch video game for two weeks before it was sold. Daisy claimed she was playing too aggressively with the game but when I asked she could not give me examples. So the 70 dollar switch game got sold on Ebay. This also only ever happens with ”expensive“ gifts. I have talked to her about it bit she denies it. Daisy asked me to buy the two kids iPads for Christmas. They are expensive and I am worried she is going to sell them. So I have set them up already and made it so she needs a pasword to get into the setting app. That way she can not wipe them and sell them. I called her up today and informed her I got the kids ipad and explained that I put a password on the setting app. In short she was pissed but I made it clear this is the only way I am gifting them the iPads. I have been getting texts constantly about me over stepping Was this a dick move? Should I get rid of the passcode?

My youngest daughter (19f) lives at home. I (51f) was having a hot flash and I knew my daughter was filming me. My tank top stayed on, so nothing inappropriate was filmed. Later in the day, my daughter asked me if she can post the video on TikTok. She talked about how a lot of people will get something out of watching it. I told my daughter no and I stood firm during her begging. She told her father (53m), who is my husband, and he asked me to reconsider. He told the video is hot (pun intended) and not embarrassing at all. I told him no. My daughter confronted me when her father said he couldn't change my mind. My daughter told me I was being mean to her. Am I the asshole ?

My daughter and I live about an hour outside NYC. Since she was a baby, I’ve taken her there most weekends. As she got older, she occasionally brought friends. They always know the rules: bring a bag with things for the train, carry your own stuff, stick together, expect lots of walking, and have fun. Phones are fine, but I encourage screen-free activities. I always speak to parents beforehand and emphasize the walking, we sometimes walk 45 minutes or more. For her 12th birthday last weekend, she wanted to go to the city with friends, visit favorite spots, have dinner, and maybe see a show. My mom helped pay for tickets and joined us. My daughter invited three girls: two longtime friends who know the routine and a new friend, “Leah.” I called Leah’s mom, explained the rules, warned about the walking, and suggested Leah bring something for the train since the signal is bad. Leah’s mom said she was excited. My daughter also explained expectations. On the train, Leah brought only her phone, got bored when the signal cut out, refused to chat or play games with the others, and complained. When we arrived, she immediately asked for a cab. My daughter reminded her we walk. As we browsed shops, Leah kept whining and asking for a cab. I stayed patient, offered water and snack breaks, and even suggested the subway to be nice, but she refused when she learned what it was. A few hours in, we stopped for dinner at a place with options for everyone. Leah complained again and said she wanted to go home. I pulled her aside to check if she was sick or upset; she just said it was boring. I told her we’d be there a few more hours for the show, but if she wanted to leave, she could call her mom. Leah called, and her mom asked me to bring her back. Even if my mom or I left with Leah and took a train back after we dropped her off, we’d miss the show, and my daughter wanted both of us there. I explained we wouldn’t head back until after the show. Leah’s mom didn’t want to pay for a train ticket or drive. She eventually sent Leah’s dad, who picked her up before the show. Leah stayed crabby through dinner. Afterward, Leah’s mom trashed me to the other moms, but they backed me up, saying they wouldn’t expect me to cut the trip short unless a child was sick or hurt (which I would do). Now Leah’s mom won’t let her hang out with my daughter. I can’t help wondering if I should’ve just sucked it up and taken her home. AITA?

I am 28F abd my husband is 32M and our son in question is 6 months old. When ever someone hold them we warn them, he'lll try grab you glasses or your phone, sometimes even grabs your hair. ( we are trying to break this habit but he is 6 months) Now I warned my husband firend 33 F let's call her Jean, came to vist and want a hold which we done mind at all. I warned her about it all saying "ohh best taking you sunglasses off your head he'll grab them. " Now these are Gucci sunglasses costing almost 800 pounds ( which to me is crazy amount for sunglass but each ti ther own.) , she rolled her eyes at me accessed me of hogging my own baby 🤷‍♀️. I warned her again she said its fine. So she stood holding him. Took her phone out wanting to take a selfy, which again i am fine with as long as its not posted ( dont want pic of him online as of yet.) He of course grabbed her sunglasses got excited as he got them waved his hands about the sunglassses went flying she screamed scarying him he paniced and flailed hiting her iPhone to the floor. I quickly took him as she was freaking out. She says I need to buy her a whole new iphone16 and replace her sunglasses or give her the money for them which is £2300. I said "we cant pay that as thats not even my monthly wage. Plus i am on maternity but also I dont feel like I should as you ignored my warnings". So called me heartless for not been more understanding of her being upset. I was more concerned with calming down my son. My husband just shrugged, telling her I did warn her. So AITA

I (23m) rent a house with four of my buddies from college. We have done this for two years. It helps that not only are we great friends, but we have a system of deciding house rules: a majority vote. Disagreements on cleaning? Majority vote. When to make quiet hours for the night on weeknights? Majority rules. It has kept everything flowing smoothly. Anyway one of my friends moved out last month to get a place with his girlfriend. He found a friend of a friend to take over his room. The guy was nice enough but then he came to us with a “declaration.” Apparently he was uncomfortable that we’re not always completely dressed in the house. No one is a nudist, but some of will sometimes not wear a shirt or just be in pajamas or boxers or underwear when lounging around the house. I admittedly am one of the two of us that does it the most, as I usually just lounge around in boxers or other underwear. We all met each other through a sport so we’re comfortable seeing each other like that. Anyway I guess the new guy was caught off guard because he asked if we could constitute a clothing on rule in the house. As usual we did a vote and the rest of us thought it was unnecessary. So there was no rule, but I did start wearing clothes more though there were some times I didn’t bother (when I just woke up, after showering, when I was just coming out to my room for something, etc.). Just to be considerate. Apparently not enough. I noticed that even though we always all gave notice before people coming over he stopped doing so. I found myself a few times just in my underwear when he rolls in with a crew. Got a couple of weird looks, but I just excuse myself and get dressed. I told him once if he gave me a heads up I’d be dressed before they got there, but he just rolled his eyes. One of my other housemates has also run into this issue. Anyway the other day he came to me and my other housemate and asked if his plan to shame us for never wearing clothes worked. We looked at him weird and he said that he was purposely trying to embarrass us by having people see us. We said we’re not embarrassed (we work out for a reason) and weren’t going to change his habit. He stormed off and started smack talking us to the other roommates. AITA?

I (F27) am an amputee. Ever since my amputation, countless people have asked me what happened to me. At first I wasn’t bothered by it and sometimes would poke fun saying a shark bit it off or some other random story. However, as time progressed it began to upset me more and more. I would get stopped in the middle of a parking lot, stopped in a busy aisle of the store, stopped on my way to and from appointments, etc. The part that bothered me the most is that they didn’t even have the decency to introduce themselves, make small talk, or even ask me my name first. Children are actually infinitely more respectful than these grown ass adults. One morning, I was outside a hotel I was in smoking. This lady came outside and immediately asked “What did you do to lose your leg?” Mind you, it was like literally 6am. I said (verbatim): “You haven’t said good morning, hello, or even asked me my name and yet you feel entitled to my medical history? Would you like that to happen to you?” She started cussing me out and said that I was rude and a cunt etc. AITAH for saying this and feeling that was out of line? TLDR: people always ask me what happened to my amputated leg as the first thing they say without even being cordial enough to introduce themselves or have small talk. Sometimes I tell them that it’s rude to do so and they cuss me out

I (35F) have a son (4M), let's call him Ben. I pack lunch for all my kids and purchased Bento lunch boxes for each of them. They go for about $50 on Amazon. I label my kids lunches, lunch box, as well as pretty much everything they own and take to school. A few weeks ago when I went to pick up my son from school on a Tuesday, I noticed that his book bag was a little light, and when I looked inside I realized that he was missing his Bento box. No biggie - I mentioned it to one of the after school teachers and she said that she had accidentally sent it home with another kid (he has a similar name to my son - let's say Ken). I should note that I have never met this kid or his parent. Any way, again, no biggie, I just kindly asked her have the parent return the lunch box the next day. The following day I inquired about the lunch box and the teacher said that the parent had messaged her saying she would bring it the following day as they are PT students coming on T/Th. Alright cool. Thursday comes around and after school I'm like okay, where's my son's lunch box. The teacher tells me the parent forgot it but will def bring it next Tues. I'm a little annoyed, but I figure I'll give the parent some grace. Next Tue comes, and no lunch box. At this point, I'm properly annoyed. I mention the missing lunch box to my son's daytime teachers. Asking them to reach out to this parent so I can get my son's lunch box back because wtf. Fast forward to another WEEK. Still no lunch box. Apparently the mother is postpartum and very forgetful. She made a joke to the teacher saying the lunch box was getting closer to school because she put it by her front door. Needless to say, I'm properly pissed. I really don't understand why this is such an ordeal...just put the lunch box in your car or your kid's book bag to bring to school. My husband wants me to find the parent and confront her myself, but the teachers won't give me her name, and I can never catch the kid or her at pick up. Sooo I send a very stern email to the principal, admin, and all my son's teachers expressing my frustration with this and explaining that I want my kid's stuff. I guess they FINALLY are able to get through to this parent and the next Thursday (nearly 4 WEEKS later), she meets me and brings the lunch box. She apologizes and she tried to joke about the situation, but I was so annoyed that I just kind of stared at her blankly. Then I just said okay, took the lunch box and left. She apparently told some of the other parents that I was rude to her and that I could have been more APPRECIATIVE that she brought the lunch box back. Ma'am...(eyeroll). So anyway, AITA for not saying thank you?

I (f23) am a university graduate and live at home with my mother. She owns the house with a mortgage that's been fully paid off. I pay her rent (around half of the market rate for our area) and do most of the housework. Me and my mother both work a lot, I work in healthcare and work irregular shift patterns and my mum is self-employed and occasionally has to travel for work. My brother (m31), his wife "Rose" (f31) and their daughter (f6) moved back into our mum's house on Friday. They got a mortgage on a home but it turned out to have a lot of maintenance issues, the biggest ones being with their toilet and shower not functioning. Also their heating doesn't work. It's estimated to take at least a month to fix everything so in the meantime they're staying here. Rose came to me and asked if I could take their daughter to school, as her school is a 5 minute drive from the hospital. Normally their neighbour (who has a child the same age) would take her to school but that's no longer an option. My brother works full-time and his shifts clash with doing this (he starts at 7am) and he and Rose share a car, as she only works one shift a week on Sundays. I told Rose that I can't commit to taking my niece to school everyday. She needs to be dropped off at school for 8am, and sometimes I'm doing overnight shifts that don't finish until 9-10am or I'm doing shifts that start really early in the morning. Rose got a bit upset and asked why I can't just explain to my boss that I need to be available for school drop-off. She didn't wait for an answer and said she knows it's not that simple but she needs me to help her. In my job, if you start requesting restricted availability, they will give you way less shifts. I couldnt understand why Rose wouldn't walk her daughter to school, as it's a 15 minute walk from our mum's house to get there, with no hills and plenty of safe crossings. Rose and their daughter don't have any health conditions that would make this not doable. I asked Rose why she wouldn't walk her daughter to school and she said that is too far to walk with a young child. I showed her the distance on Google maps (I assumed she wasn't aware of how close it was) and she reiterated that it was too far. I said to Rose I think that's her best option but I cannot take her daughter to school everyday. Later that day my mum told me that Rose came to her really upset that I refused to help. My mum said she knows I normally work irregular shifts but that it'd be a really nice thing for me to do. I feel like I'm going crazy because when I was a kid I went to the same school and my mum walked me there and back from this house!! I said no and my mum said that's fine I understand. Now I've got my brother calling me selfish and he said it's a small ask that even their neighbour could do it and I'm refusing. Am I really such an asshole???

This happened a few weeks ago and I can't stop thinking about it. I went to goodwill and saw a really lovely set of wood plates and 2 matching bowls. I actually needed them for their intended purpose. I was going to grab the stuff but there was this woman standing in front of them with her phone out loudly ccomplaining about how she can't find the maker's mark on the dishware as the bottoms were left blank. I assumed she was one of those resellers as her cart was filled to the brim with glassware and I did see a leather jacket in there too. I walked up next to her and asked if she was going to buy the dishes. She glared at me and said yes and told me to get lost she was here first. So I just said fine no need to be rude lady it was a simple yes or no question. I walked away to go look elsewhere and she was now looking in the books but the wood dishes were not in her cart. I walked over saw them still on the shelf and put them in mine. As I walked away she came back and noticed I had them in my cart and she started flipping her shit telling me she was going to buy those as they were from a super high end artist. I told her she walked away from the shelf and left them there if she really wanted them she should have put them in her cart. She immediately started grabbing my cart and taking out everything from my cart as I found a hoodie thing called 'the comfy' and some vintage pyrex in a collectable pattern. She said I am taking money away from good people like her and that she was losing sales because of people like me buying shit to use and not resell. I yelled to take her hands off my shit and by this point an employee stocking nearby came over and asked what was going on. Lady tried to say I stole stuff from her cart. I said she was stealing from mine. Reseller lady looked around and saw a different employee had taken her abandoned cart she left in the book section and was putting her stuff back. She freaked out dropped my stuff and ran after him. I looked at the employee who then just waved me off and I left with mt purchases. Told some people about it and a close friend said I should have just given her everything because reselling is her job and another friend agreed with her. But they only said that when I said my 'the comfy' was a $50 garment.

throwaway and fake names. I (29M) broke up with my ex, Chloe (28F), about 14 months ago. It was messy.. When she moved out, she asked if I could watch her dog, a senior dachshund- Frank, for "a couple weeks" while she found a pet friendly place. I agreed because I loved that dog. Weeks turned into months. For the first few months, she'd text to ask about him, but she never came to visit or sent money for food or vet bills. The texts slowly stopped. After 6 months, I texted her and said "Hey, are you getting Frank soon? His food and care are expensive." She did replied after a day "I'm still looking, thanks so much for doing this" At the 10-month mark, Frank had a big vet bill. I spent over $300ish on for him and i lost my job atm. I didn't even bother texting her, she hadn't reached out in 4 months. I paid for it, and I officially considered him my dog. Last week, out of the blue, Chloe shows up at my door. She's got a new job, a new apartment, and a new boyfriend. She said, "I'm here for Frank! Thanks for watching him!" l I told her no. I said she abandoned him, I've been his sole caretaker for over a year, and I paid for his bills and food. She got hysterical, calling me a thief. She said he was her emotional support animal during our relationship and she needs him back. She offered to pay me back for the surgery "in installments." I told her to get lost and shut the door. Now, she's blowing up my phone, and her new boyfriend is sending me threatening messages. My friends are split. Some say I saved the dog and he's mine. Others say I'm being a bitter ex and stealing her property out of spite, and that I should have given her a chance to pay me back.

23F, little sister is 13F. I live back & forth between my mum’s and my dad’s house. All of my siblings are half-siblings on my dad’s side. I love my little sister but lately I've been getting annoyed about certain boundaries she crosses. She’s obsessed with face cream, hand cream, body spray, perfume, any hair products that smell good, lip gloss/balm - she has a very big collection of all these things. I once sat and counted how many lip stuff she has accumulated over the years and I counted 37. Despite having TONS of her own, she always asks to borrow mine and often ends up using up the entire thing (one of my perfumes was almost completely used up because she would spray it at *least* 20 times every time she used it) She gets upset if I don’t share my stuff with her. For example, I got a body mist from Bath & Body Works recently because I loved the smell. I decided to leave it at my mum’s house. My sister saw it in the background during a facetime and said “oh that looks like it smells good, can you bring it the next time you come here?!” and I jokingly said something along the lines of “I think we’ve got more than enough perfumes at dads”, and she was visibly upset. I’m quite a patient person so I brush all of this off bc she’s my lil sister and that's just what siblings do, right? But this recent situation has really upset me and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. So: It was my birthday on Tuesday. I went to my dad’s to celebrate after work. When I sat down to open presents I noticed that all of them were intact except one, of which the packaging had been ripped open and the contents removed. Hm, weird, so I asked my little sister what happened and she told me that it was one of my brother’s gifts to me (a set that included hand cream, a nail file, a nail/cuticle oil, and a little nail clipper) and she “really wanted to try it” and couldn’t wait for me to open it so she decided to go ahead and open it herself and try everything out. Half the hand cream had been squeezed out of the tube, the nail file was used because it had those tell tale scratches on it, and the small nail/cuticle oil bottle wasn’t closed properly so it was also opened. I understand that, in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a big deal, but it made me sad that she had just gone and opened my gift like that without even thinking to consult me first. I said to her, verbatim, “You need to stop thinking all of my things are automatically yours too.” Her mum taught her that everything that belongs to your siblings also belongs to you. Her philosophy: siblings share everything. So, setting a boundary is very difficult; My sister got mad because I “never share” my things with her anymore and am “purposely” leaving some of my stuff at my mum’s place to avoid her using them. Her mum called me “quite selfish” for belittling my own sister for wanting to be “closer to me” by borrowing my things. AITA? WIBTA if I continued to be harsh about these boundaries?

The other day I was at the mall with my boyfriend and our two kids (F5 and M6), we were sitting eating a bag of roasted chestnuts when this kid (around 10 yo) starts hovering around us. Now, I admit I'm not the biggest fan of any kid that doesn’t belong to me, so this alone was already annoying me slightly but I still smilled to him. Then he calls my son over and whispers in his ear, and I knew it was about the chestnuts. My son nods yes and the boy comes up to me and reaches for a chestnut, I moved bag and said "no, you have to go ask your parents". My boyfriend got upset, called me rude and handed a chestnut to the boy. The boy leaves and I tell my boyfriend he shouldn't have done that, that you don't just give food to a strange kid. The boy than hovers back around us and without a word snatches two chestnuts from the bag that my boyfriend was now holding. I stand up and said very firmly "sorry but you can't take our stuff like that, go to your parents". He put them back and ran off. I think the kid had no education and I wasn't gonna let my kids think it's okay to accept anything from strangers, or that it's okay to be pressured into sharing. My boyfriend doesn’t agree and thinks the kid trusted us because we had kids ourselves. He thinks I was just selfish. So, AITA?

AITA. I (32 f) complimented a female nurse during OBGYN appt for having nice arm muscles. She was very bothered by my comment for some reason which I am trying to wrap my head around. She went on and on saying that most people working on themselves at the gym have serious mental health issues and are working out to channel through it and not to “look nice.” I apologized and told her I meant no harm and that I simply admired her for looking strong. She kept getting more angry and I just stopped responding. I left the office feeling really confused. Any input would be greatly appreciated from this awkward human who was just trying to socialize. (I’d like to add that she was wearing the type of scrubs with cap sleeves that specifically show off your upper arms.)

Throwaway because family is on Reddit. This happened over Christmas and it’s turning into a whole family drama. My daughter “Sofia” (12) and her cousin “Martina” (6 - daughter of my sister “Maria” and her husband “Jose”) were gifted blind box Labubus as part of their Christmas gift from my other sister “Sara”. They each opened their boxes. Martina got a brown one and Sofia got a pink one.  Martina immediately wanted the pink one and Sofia immediately offered a trade because she already has the pink one and was hoping for the brown one. They traded, both girls were happy, and that was that….or so I thought.  Later, Martina’s parents found out from taking to someone that the brown Labubu is apparently a rare “secret” version that can sell for $250+.  Once they learned that, they called me said the girls needed to switch back and that Sofia was to return the brown one immediately. They even wanted me to drive over with it then and there despite the fact they live an hour away and it was already 8pm. I asked if Martina actually wanted the brown one back. They said that wasn’t the point. After some pushing back, Jose admitted someone was willing to pay him $225 for the Brown one and give Martina the pink one she wants. I said I wouldn’t force Sofia to swap back. From my perspective: * Both kids were happy with the trade and got the Labubu they wanted.  * Sofia didn’t pressure or manipulate Martina into switching (if she had, I would have stepped in immediately and told her “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”).  * When I asked her, Sofia admitted she knew the brown one was rare, but when I asked how much they sell for, she said they are blind boxes so you can’t buy the brown, they just make less of them. She didn’t know it was worth money. She’s not a good liar, and she appeared to be telling the truth.  * Martina originally *didn’t* want the brown one and basically got upset when she saw Sofia got pink.  * It feels like Maria and Jose only want the brown one back because they can sell it and pocket money from it. Now they’re upset with me and saying I’m being unfair and taking advantage of a 6-year-old and Jose even called Sofia a Manipulative B\*\*\*h which I think is a reach when Sofia didn’t know it was worth a lot of money, she just knew they were rare to pull, that she already had the pink and Martina was crying for the pink one.  Sara has said this is “stupid parent drama” and she’s staying out of it and said we can sort it out ourselves.  So AITA for refusing to make my daughter give the brown Labubu back? EDIT: Jose called Sofia a Manipulative B\*\*\*h to me on the phone discussing it, not to Sofia’s face. He’d be a dead man walking if he said it to her.

I (38F) have been living in a different state from my family for over 10 years. I’ve supported myself the entire time and rarely asked anyone for help. I didn’t grow up with my parents, my grandmother supported and raised me, and I never had a close relationship with them. Last year, I went on vacation with my siblings. During the trip, I found out that my youngest brother (29M), who makes the most money out of all of them, has been paying the mortgage and most of our parents’ living expenses. He asked me why I wasn’t helping financially. Since he asked directly, I answered honestly. I told him that our parents didn’t support me growing up, and that I still remember when my grandmother asked me to write them a letter requesting financial support for my education. My mom wrote back to my grandmother saying she should teach me not to ask them for money because what my dad earned was “just enough” for them and my three siblings. My grandmother let me read that letter, which I don’t think my mom knows. I told my brother that I contributed financially when we immigrated and that I paid rent when I lived with them for two years. I also used whatever money I earned to help support my grandmother, who actually raised me, until she passed away. After I moved to a different state, I’ve been completely on my own with zero financial help. Because of that history, I didn’t feel responsible for supporting our parents now. Apparently, my brother told my mom. She confronted me via text and accused me of being “disrespectful” as a child. I explained my side and the experiences that shaped my feelings. She mentioned times she believes I was disrespectful, including verbal and physical conflicts. I explained that these incidents didn’t happen in isolation and were often triggered by her actions, such as trying to persuade my grandmother to send me somewhere to dance for money or deliberately ruining my school uniform by putting soy sauce on it. I told her she had not treated me like a mother should when I was growing up. The conversation didn’t go well, and afterward my mom stopped talking to me. Eventually, the rest of my family did too. Now I’m basically no contact with all of them. I feel like I told the truth and set a reasonable boundary, but somehow I’m the one who ended up alone. AITA for refusing to help financially and explaining my reasons when asked?

My parents in law are visiting us for a week. Because our space is small (50m2) , they would have to sleep on the couch which they wouldn’t like, so I suggested booking an Airbnb for them. That way they could spend the day with us, enjoy homemade meals (my husband insists on that, they will get mad if it isn’t the case), then go out and return for dinner at our place before spending the night at their Airbnb comfortably. My husband hated this idea and was furious. He wants us to leave our apartment for them and stay at an Airbnb ourselves, taking our 3 month old kitten with us (because they hate cats) and then come back every morning to prepare meals, do house chores for them and spend the day with them. Am I crazy for thinking this sounds unreasonable?

So basically, my mom is constantly telling me that I “stink” or that I need to shower even when I literally just got out of the shower. I shower twice a day once in the morning and then again after practice, use deodorant, and I wear perfume. It’s gotten to the point where it’s making me really insecure. I’ve even asked my friends even as early as fifth grade if I smell bad, and everyone says no. But my mom just won’t stop. Sometimes it’s right after I’ve showered, like she’ll say, “Did you shower, well it doesnt smell like it, you need to take another shower,” and sometimes she even bends down to smell me and it's so stupid and infuriating. The other day, she said it again and I finally snapped. I yelled at her to leave me alone and that she’s making me feel terrible about myself. My dad says I overreacted and that I should have just ignored it, but at this point I just want everyone to leave me alone.

I (17F) am still in high school and live in an area where it’s really hard to get a job. I don’t have a car because there’s no money for driving school. Recently, my mom (37) told me she’s not going to buy food anymore because “we’re all grown” and everyone has to buy their own food. This started after she asked my brother (19), who works and also gets to use her car to get to work, to give her $100 to buy food since we rely on SNAP and the government shut it down. He refused, so she decided she’s not buying food for anyone and that everyone has to fend for themselves. I completely lost it when she told me this and said, “Why did you even have kids? Why have kids if you’re poor and just end up regretting them?” She always talks about how we ruined her life, so I just snapped. I asked why, at 17, broke and having to take care of her own family, she decided to have kids anyway. Kids that she trauma dumps on every chance she gets. She always lets my brother have his way and then gets mad at the rest of us. In the heat of the argument, I also told her that if she really didn’t want us, she should’ve just aborted us or never had us in the first place. I said that if she really wanted to punish someone, it should be my brother, since he’s the one who refused to help in the first place. She went on to say, “ I should have” “You guys are grown. I already raised you. I already raised you.” I know what I said was rude and disrespectful, but it’s just so hard not to be when I’m this angry and hurt.

3 years ago my younger sister Jen had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. She and her partner Scott were devastated. I was there for them as much as I could be but it was a tough time for them. A few months later Scott left Jen: Jen said it was because of the miscarriage. Her and Scott had a close knit group of friends and I found it odd no one has checked on her so I rang her best friend to suggest a girls night. She told me the reason they had broke up: Jen had slept with someone else. When he confronted her she blamed the miscarriage. 9 months ago I got engaged and asked Jen to be my MoH. At our engagement party Jen became inconsolable at seeing our friends baby. Everyone’s focus - including mine - was on Jen all night. I wasn’t upset with her: I figured that she was imagining what all these big family events would be like with a baby so I gave her grace. Since then anything to do with the wedding, she brings up her miscarriage - but only at events related to my wedding. I asked her to help me pick flowers and she lost it when she saw baby blue roses (she’s convinced she was having a boy) and we had to leave. When we went wedding dress shopping and she picked out a maternity bridesmaid dress and asked to try it on so that she could see how she would have looked. When she did that I thought “she’s actually lost it” and had to walk away when she started stuffing a cushion up her dress. I have tried to talk to her about going to counselling again but she is insisting this is a normal part of the grieving process. She planned my hen party: which I was so grateful for but I found out after she’d sent everyone a list of rules which included no talking about pregnancy or kids; no wearing baby blue, etc etc. I confronted her but I was gentle about it: I suggested counselling again and said I was there for her but also that if she wanted to impose any other “rules” on anything to do with my wedding she had to come to me first. It all came to a head when one of my friends and bridesmaids announced she was pregnant (she will be 7 months at the wedding). After the announcement Jen called her and said it would be best if she didn’t come because she couldn’t “maintain her peace” if she was forced to be reminded of the loss of her child. I LOST it when I found out and said she was using her miscarriage to get attention and if she made one more demand, or made a single comment about it at anything wedding related she was uninvited and in either case she is no longer my MoH. Since then, Jen has told everyone I’ve dumped her from the wedding for being too upset about the loss of her baby. In retaliation and have told everyone and anyone who will listen the real reason her and Scott broke up. Half our friends and family think I’m an asshole, half think she is. I’m still horrifically angry: and stuck in a place where I’m not sure if I’m rightly angry or if I should be more understanding. AITA? \*\*\*Edit\*\*\* a couple of people have said I went too far telling people about the reasons why she broke up with Scott. And I can take that: but just for context I had a multiple people reach out to me, who she had spoken to first. Each essentially said I was being a b\*\*\*\* for dumping her from the wedding for having a miscarriage and said something along the lines of “she’s lost her partner and her sister because she lost her baby”. I felt I needed to correct them that she actually lost neither of us, because if the miscarriage, she lost us because of her actions since and her blaming the miscarriage is part of a pattern of behaviour. (I didn’t go into details: just said “actually she lost Scott because she cheated on him, and she lost me because she uninvited one of my bridesmaids, without my knowing because she is pregnant) I was upset and hurt that they were saying this to me; and also that she wanted everyone to think I was the sort of person who would dump my sister because she lost a baby so I lashed out by telling them what actually happened with Scott. I suppose as a way to defend myself. But again: if the consensus is that this was too far, I’ll accept that and take it on the chin. \*\*\*EDIT 2\*\*\* Thanks for the feedback everyone: someone mentioned the phrase “weaponised grief” and seeing that written down, that’s what it feels like. She clearly didn’t deal with her grief at the time she had the miscarriage, but I’m surprised that it’s presented itself now in the way that it has, now. Part of me wonders if she’s is seeing me get married and thinking it should have been her and Scott: perhaps her feelings of guilt over what she did, and not dealing with her grief have caused her to have some form of mental break? I’m not sure: but I’m glad to see the consensus seems to be I was right to set the boundaries I did. This gives me some measure of peace as we get closer to the wedding, although if it comes to it and she is not there I will still be absolutely devastated.

Istill shaking while typing this. My wife (Paula ) and I just got back from a trip. It was our first time away since our twin daughter was born. We gave my mother in law Hakiko a spare key just to check on things if necessary Paula is sentimental. When her grandmother passed away, she left her two handcarved mahogany pieces a desk and a vanity. They were Paula absolute favorite things walked in yesterday and the room was empty. Hakiko was there, all smiles, saying she made a surprise for us by getting rid of that oldie dusty junk to give us a modern look lol She replaced them with some cheap, flatpack furniture. She literally give away/donated Paula inheritance without asking Told her to leave and give me the keys. I changed the locks today. Paula has been in tears. Now the rest of the family are calling me abusive guy and controlling by for isolating paulas from her mother Hakiko over some old piece of junkie wood. They say Hakiko’s heart was in the right place and I'm being an AH for banning a grandmother from seeing her grandkid over furniture! My wife is on my side. She agrees with the ban, but the constant guilt from her family is making me feel like a monster. AITA?

I (F25) was at a friend’s house for a game night this past weekend with a group of about 6. Everyone brought food and drinks and we were having a good time, when about halfway through the night I got up to use the bathroom. When I came back, I saw that one of the girls had moved from a chair to the side to my space on the couch. This didn’t bug me as people shuffle around in groups, so whatever. The chair was an antique wooden chair that sat a bit lower to the ground with an added back/butt cushion. When I sat down it immediately broke, sending me to the ground with the seat under me and the arm frames falling to the side. Everyone got quiet for a second before jumping up to help me. I wasn’t hurt, just very embarrassed. For context I’m a bigger girl, about 260 pounds at 5 foot 7 inches. My friend (F27) was very gracious and nice about it when it happened, accepting my apologies and telling me not to worry. Her boyfriend (M29) said that the chair was his grandmother’s and it has fallen apart before and he was able to repair it. I was ushered back to the couch and game night continued. Fast forward to the next morning, I received a text from my friend who let me know that the chair couldn’t be put back together, and that from her research it would cost about $250 to get a new one, but she’d let me know exactly how much when she found one. I was a bit taken aback, and responded confused, asking why I would be expected to pay for a faulty chair. She said that while yes, on occasion the frames would become unattached and cause it to fall apart, but that that’s not what happened this time. She sent me pictures of the broken chair, particularly a bent support and 2 other broken supports. She said that the chair broke under my weight and couldn’t be fixed, and since the chair was an antique from her boyfriend’s late grandmother, she wanted a new one for him. I responded that the chair was very old and had a history of collapsing. If they were concerned about preserving it, they should’ve not had it out for people to use, and $250+ for a chair I sat in for 1 second seems a bit ridiculous. At this point she seemingly got frustrated, and said that she loves me but that I’m her “biggest friend” and that it wouldn’t have happened to anyone else. She said: “It broke from your weight plopping down all at once, not because the frame was loose. I think it’s only fair you reimburse us for the chair since you’re responsible for breaking it.” I’m still figuring out how to respond. I don’t want to pay her for something I don’t see as being completely my fault. I also think she’s using the scenario to shame me about my weight a bit, which I find frustrating. My friends’ opinions are mixed. A few are saying that I should just pay her and move on, even if it’s not exactly my fault. One thinks it is my fault and I should pay up, and a few more think she’s in the wrong for asking and I should continue to politely decline. AITA for refusing to pay?

So here's the reality. I have two kids. They are now 14 and 16. I've had 50/50 since I got divorced, up until a few months ago. 4 years ago, my ex wife got remarried and her husband advised her to start a custody dispute. I spent $165,000 (basically my life savings) fighting for 4 years. For the record, my ex-wife's father is wealthy and paid all her legal fees. (This comes in to play later) The older child told the court appointed therapist "I want to live with mom and only see Dad every other weekend". The younger one just said they wanted to do 50/50. The younger one then changed their mind and said: "Oh maybe 70/30 with Mom. I just want court stuff to be over." I went to trial. My attorney fought like hell, but the judge said: "Given the children's age, their preference will take precedence and we won't split them up, as it break their sibling bond." Well, my wife and I have been planning some travel with some of her friends, her sister and their husbands. It includes 9 days in Spain and France. They picked the dates. We got tickets. The kids found out about it and have been asking me: "We want to go. Why can't we go?" I told my children: "This is something we planned. We saved for." They asked if it was an adults only trip. I told them it was not, and their 15 year old cousin was coming. They said it was not fair we couldn't take them as they know we could afford it, and that it would be their only chance to travel internationally. I told them: "You’re young adults now. You chose to spend the majority of your time with your mother, and you got what you wanted. But choices have consequences. One of them is that you don’t get to join me on things like this." They're both very upset. My younger one said: "You're just mad we have more fun at Mom's house." I'm afraid I'm being an asshole here. I'm happy to be wrong. But my gut is telling me what I'm doing is fair.