I moved to a new state and have young children. My parents are very involved grandparents. Everyone, including myself thought that my parents would definitely move to this town since they’re both retired. My brother also lives here and we don’t have any other siblings. Instead, my mom, but usually both parents, will fly in once a month and stay with one of us for a week or more. I love them dearly, but this is not sustainable. My mom acts like waiting 6 weeks between visits will kill her. I don’t know what to do. When I bring it up she says that I chose this, and that it wasn’t her choice to live like this. I feel guilty for moving away, but I also don’t want her to live with me for 1/4 of my life. Is this self-centered of me? It’s hard to have a routine and have it not feel disruptive, and I want to live my own life with my family of 4. More info: I have had the conversation with her. She stays with my brother now, but it’s still intrusive. It also means she doesn’t necessarily need to ask for my permission to come since she’s staying with them. If they had a vacation house here, I feel like it would exasperate the problem because then she REALLY wouldn’t need my permission to come. I guess the only answer here is to be the asshole and ban her from seeing my kids, but that’s hard. Also yes, I should be in therapy but I live in America so it’s $200 an hour.