Conflict started with our 8 year old cousin, smart kid but sometimes moody and stubborn. Kid got super upset after an auntie agreed to order pizza, but ordered it from a different place than he asked. Kid is hangry and emotional, saying his auntie ignored him bc no one cares about him, no one loves him, etc. He goes to sit in the next room. Auntie is sitting by the pizza and making fun of him for getting that upset and whining. I was sitting with her telling her she should stop because he’s not gonna come to the table and eat if she’s making fun of him. Let’s not bully him, he’s having big feelings. Kid’s in the other room pouting. My cousin “Jam” (29F), being the big bro cousin comes over, tries to persuade Johnny to go get himself a slice of pizza, and will defend him if auntie starts teasing him. This goes on for like, 30 minutes if not an hour. Time passed, it clearly wasn’t working and it was getting old to listen to Jam trying to convince Johnny to get a slice on his own. Kids are just not going to be on their best behavior when they are hungry + emotions are high. So I take a slice (pretty small) and walk over to the other room to offer. Jam gets up and asks me not to give Johnny a slice. I say listen, why not just give him a single slice and let him get up and get the second slice on his own? He is actively getting mocked by his auntie (who is like a second mom to him), hes just getting hungrier and feeling increasingly wronged… why have a power struggle? One slice isn’t a meal (this kid can EAT!), but it’ll be enough to turn him back into a reasonable version of himself and then he can take care of the rest of his plate himself. Jam says no, I want him to get the slice himself so he learns accountability. So I hand Jam the plate and walk away, I felt a little sympathetic for the kid but whatever. Jam then goes and gives Johnny the slice. He eats it, and then gets up and goes by himself to get more food. I was like, okay cool, mission accomplished. The rest of the day was fine. Later Jam calls me and tells me that I was wrong to intervene, that I put him in a position where he had to give him a slice. I said, okay, but what you were doing was not working, and giving him a slice worked. Jam said that wasn’t the point, and that he wanted to set a boundary: when he was talking to a boy, specifically since he is a man, I shouldn’t get involved. I was baffled. Ignoring the gender aspect, it isn’t a boundary to tell me not to get involved with our cousin, that’s a request, and one I declined - I am free to point out if I think a dynamic in front of me becoming harmful. Jam is not his father, we are all cousins. A month later it came up in conversation and I said again, I am not agreeing to that. Today Jam let me know he has decided to take a step back from me because I disrespected him and his boundaries. If this were his child that would be one thing but I don’t see how it’s disrespectful for me to say no to that request. AITA?