This should really be “Who is the Asshole” because my wife (26F) and I (24M) are posting together. Before we met, my wife finished her bachelor’s almost entirely on her own. The only outside help was a Parent plus loan for about $6k that her dad took out with her. That type of loan is legally 100% the parent’s responsibility just so you know. By the time we married, she had already paid about $1,000 toward it, and together we’d been paying $100/month. Wife has 6 siblings and she was also previously married to a man who cheated repeatedly, he was a disgusting human. Last July, two days before my MIL’s birthday, everything went down. My FIL didn’t come home and texted MIL that he was leaving her for another woman, and that she was pregnant. Turns out he’d been having an affair for over 2 years with a coworker, who also had a husband and a baby. My wif was especially devastated, since she had lived through something similar. I absolutely hate my FIL with a passion. I cut him off completely. To me, cheaters don’t just betray their spouses, they betray their whole families too. If someone in my family cheated, I’d honestly have no issue cutting them out. But my wife doesn’t feel the same. Even after all this, shes willing to eventually reconcile with her dad. honestly that bothers me. Life is stressful right now financially. My wife started medical school, and we took out a $100k loan, left with $8k set aside for living expenses. I was working the summer in another state, decent pay for six months, but not steady. Plus, we’re paying $800/month on a car. Then the Parent PLUS loan came due again, and the balance was about $3,500. I suggested we stop paying, since it isn’t legally ours. My wife said morally it was her responsibility because it funded her education. I agree in general but argued her dad forfeited his moral obligations when he cheated, so why should we take on his debt? While this was happening, FIL and MIL kept getting together and him leaving her. He left, came back, lied about cutting off the affair, left again, came back again. MIL is pressuring the kids to forgive him, which pushed them away further. As the chaos settled I brought up the loan issue, it was a heated topic for a few weeks. I pushed for compromise: we could give the money to her mom and let her decide. My wife refused any kind of compromise saying she wanted to pay the lender directly. Angrily I told her fine, but then I wouldn’t talk to her until she made a decsion. She got angry, threatened divorce, and even asked if I was cheating (I wasn’t, just work/home/groceries, and I shared my location). She wanted a timeline for how long I’d be upset. I said a week, maybe two. I was clear I needed space from her, not from our marriage. To me, paying this loan feels like helping a cheater. Even though the money goes to the lender, it still benefits him. My wife insists it’s her responsibility. So AITA for not wanting to pay her dad’s loan?