I (28f) was raised by my mother, and spent most of my childhood visiting my dad every 2 weeks and certain holidays. My dad is no longer in my life, the last time I heard from him was about 12 years ago, however the reasons for this falling out are not relevant to this post. My dad used to tell my sisters that the reason he and my mom divorced was because of an affair that happened around the time I was conceived. He told them that he has always been suspicious that I am not his biological daughter, however it is worth noting that nothing was ever said to me directly. I look nothing like my dad and have some medical things that are genetic that don’t seem to come from either my mom or dad’s side of the family. Finally about a month ago I decided I wanted to find out. I did an ancestry kit. Last night I got the results. Not a single member of my dad’s side of the family was listed, however there were a lot of people I’d never heard of before coming from my paternal DNA side. One of those relatives shared more DNA with me than my sister. I found her on social media and got in touch with her. Turns out her dad was working at the college my mother was attending the year I was conceived. Through some deductive reasoning we discovered she was in fact my half sister and that man was my biological father. When I called my mom to ask her about this, I made it clear that I wasn’t angry, her marriage was her business and I’m just looking for answers. She claimed she had never slept with anyone outside of her marriage and that ancestry must not be very accurate. I chose not to confront her at this time. I wanted to gather more information and calm down a bit before trying to get some answers again. Then a few hours later she called me back, this time claiming that she’d had time to think about it and that she did remember being surprised about her pregnancy with me as she hadn’t been very sexually active with my dad during that time. She said she was really disturbed because she doesn’t know who that man is and is worried she was a victim. I kinda lost it at this point. I was disgusted that she was trying to make herself a victim in this situation instead of taking accountability and giving me the answers I deserve. I called her a liar and she started crying and hung up the phone. My husband says I was way too harsh with her, and I put too much pressure on her out of the blue. He says I should have been a bit more gentle with her and reassured her that I’m not angry. Maybe he’s right, but honestly I am angry so idk Edit: For a little more context, my mom has a long history of lying compulsively. We have been working on our relationship for about a year but is almost incapable of taking accountability for the truly traumatic childhood she gave us. I’d be more inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt if it wasn’t completely in line with her character to have an affair. Plus my dad already told my sisters he knew about the affair. Also for those who have been asking about bio dad’s position at the university, he worked in the kitchen, was not a professor. My mom was 25 at the time.