Okay, little background: my(33) husband(34) is awesome and I love him but he’s ridiculous about money. It’s basically the only thing we fight over and I’ve told him it’s the only thing I consider leaving him over. We make plenty to get by and put a little away each month but he’s still always obsessed with saving as much as possible. To the point we only combined our finances a few months ago even though we’ve lived together nearly five years, married almost two. He enforced a strict rule of only $150 each per month for non necessities. Which was a whole other fight but I reluctantly agreed. So, I recently stopped cutting hair full time and now work for a law firm on weekdays and at the salon one or two days out of the weekend. All my hourly pay goes directly to our joint account, which I’m fine with. But my credit card tips from the salon load onto a debit card at the end of each shift automatically. I’ve been using that for my “fun” money and just transferring all the leftovers into the joint at the end of the month. Now I want to clarify, I’m not spending an obscene amount of money per month on non necessities . But I don’t want my spending habits monitored and criticized. My tip money is like a bonus to me. Not part of my standard income and I feel it’s mine until I give it to the joint account. I literally just transferred $400 into the joint account from my tip card but he’s mad I spent $100 or so without adding it to my “budget” even though I took nothing from the joint. Extra details: My husband has always treated me like an idiot when it comes to money because when we met I had about $7,000 in credit card debt(which I can’t convince him is relatively normal) from emergencies and other things. Well it always bothered him and so he begged me for years to just let him pay off my credit. I refused because I didn’t want him to have something to hang over me. But I finally caved and now guess what gets brought up every time we fight about money? He also used to give me a bill at the end of each month calculating what I owed him. I swear he’s the sweetest most understanding guy in the world until it comes to money. He doesn’t even realize how controlling he’s being and that makes it even more frustrating. EDIT: For everyone asking the $7k in cc debt was a slow climb over about 15 years. Mostly car trouble, a surgery, bills during an extended sick leave and my mother had used it at one point on her car as well. The CC was always only emergencies, unfortunately a few emergencies overlapped.