This has been a growing conflict that’s been festering for years. I’ve never felt like I had a mother in any way shape or form, never felt like I was treated like a daughter. Since I was a kid, ive always been shamed for having darker skin and shes tried every type of whitening creams on me. She’d make comments on how I should scrub my body so I wont be darker anymore. As I grew older, she used my body as a tool to criticise, demean and shame, like my body was an object to throw darts around. She’d make really rude comments about how big my boobs were, even infront of my relatives, talking like it’s a problem and a shame. She’d point out every flaw in me, like the color of my lips, or if I get pimples or any micro details about my body and skin color. And this goes beyong my body, she never encourages me or motivates me in my studies whatsoever, instead only breaks me down ny comaporing me to other , saying I don’t study enough. When I don’t score well and im crying she has never once came and comforted me, instead just brushing it off saying I’m too emotional and I should study better next time. Moreover shes extremely harsh with her words, calling me animal names in moments of anger, calling me ugly and has this tone of hatred to me. Everything has to be perfect for her. If im sweeping the floor, she’ll check with her feet for dust and make me broom again while im sobbing. Same thing in the kitchen, from the way I hold the spoon to the way I mix it, it has to be perfect for her. She forces me to do things when I don’t want to, has no respect for my sense of autonomy and space. Another thing ive noticed is how she makes me feel like womens education don’t matter and that my place is only the kitchen. She shows no motherly care whatsoever. However she s complety different with my dad and brother. With them she serves them food water dyring dinner and takes care of then when they re sick. But for me, she wont even serve me a glass of water. At the dinner table, the water glass will only be kept for my dad and brother while I have to get mine myself, any food is always served for them first. Affection and care for my brother comes so easily for her, I guess it’s the typical Asian moms who love the sons and hate the daughters. I feel like the **scapegoat of the family.** My dad and brother see that she’s immature and will never admit she’s wrong, so they tell me to be patient. When they try to defend me, she plays the victim and takes it out on me. They praise her for being a “good mother” while I’m left carrying all the blame, criticism, and cruelty. Helping her feels like swallowing my own vomit. I just cant find it me to respect someone whos treated me less than a human my whole life. So… AITAH for refusing to give her respect, given how she’s treated me my whole life?