Throwaway account. Me (31M) and my gf (29F) have been together for 7 years. Tomorrow is the 4 year anniversary of my moms death. Plan was she’d come with me to my hometown today (we’d get there in the evening) cause its closer to the city where she has a work meeting tmrw morning. I told her a few times how important it was for me we go to the cemetery before her train. I asked also multiple times when her train actually leaves but all I got was “morning”. She only finally checked in the car and said 10am. I thought ok thats fine, we just wake up like an hour earlier, no big deal. Then she said if she had known earlier about the cemetery she would have planned different and just gone straight from home to the meeting instead of coming with me. That really hurt cause I DID tell her before. It felt like she acted like I dropped this last minute or forced her into it, which isnt true. Before I got mad she suggested I could drop her at another station tomorrow thats closer to the cemetery. Logistically fine, I told her that. But the point wasnt the station or timing. The problem was I even had to push her about coming to my moms grave at all. At that point I snapped. Told her its disrespectful, felt like I dont matter, and out of frustration I even said fuck you. After that we just sat in silence. Later when we passed the airport she suddenly said she wants to get out there and take a train from there. When she got out she cried and told me again she already gave a solution with the other station. I said the station was never the issue, it was how little I felt she cared. And honestly this isnt the first time. When my mom died 4 years ago, on the DAY of the funeral, she left to go to a family friend’s 50th birthday party instead of staying with me and my family. I buried that feeling but moments like this bring it all back. Our relationship has been rocky for a while and in the car I kept thinking maybe I should just end it. So… AITA for snapping, swearing at her and getting so angry? English not my first language sorry for mistakes.