Me (F33) and friend (M36) recently told me I had a “quarrelsome spirit” and that “he wouldn’t want to marry me like that”. (Context: we both come from similar upbringings and have similar judeo-christian values around marriage etc (believe in mutual respect, ie a husband loving sacrificially, and a wife submitting in this context) and we had brief conversations about this in the past.) Recently we ended up going back and forth on “the order” of marital roles, him leaning more conservative vs egalitarian, and I don’t think he realized that there was a difference, bc he grouped mutual submission (egalitarian) with being a “feminist” (in a sense where women should take the role of leader) which is a completely different belief system. He was also hung up on a statement I made: “I don’t believe a [healthy] woman genuinely has the capacity to trust a man who is only prioritizing himself [basically being selfish and self service oriented…] I belive it creates a bad a dynamic not supportive of marriage in the Judeo-Christian context and can lead to abuse or negligence.” He was hung up on this statement and connected it to an attitude about not submitting. He didn’t seem to see any subcontext. I tried to re-explain and he went on to say that what I was saying is just an argument to pick a good husband etc. which atp I thought, fine okay if that helps you understand that I’m not disagreeing with you, then sure. But then he said, “Well, hopefully you understand my side of things now.” Understandably confused I asked why he thought I was still arguing even after clarifying why I wasn’t. He then changed the subject completely, didn’t answer my question, and circled back to an earlier dumb argument we’d had and other various ones from our past and used it as “proof” I had a “quarrelsome spirit” and that “he wouldn’t want to marry me like that”. Basically saying that I have an attitude that doesn’t line up with what I was saying about submission. We are not romantically involved…(FWB a very long time ago, like 5+ years, but it ended badly and we didn’t talk after that. We struck up a low key friendship this past summer and it was clear we were only friends.) AITA for going off on him bc of these statements? After these statements I questioned him if he understood what he was saying and inferring by these comments, just because I was so shocked. He responded with “I already explained everything, I’m exhausted. Just leave me alone for a while”. That’s when I went off on him, yelled at him that 1) he was dumb to still think I believed in something I was clearly explaining to him I did not, 2) that I wasn’t his wife, and I was never going to be his wife, 3) that he was an idiot and ignorant for using this logic to label me as quarrelsome 4) he was a coward for wanting to end the conversation here after these comments.