This all started about a month ago. I (18m) was laying in bed late at night when all of a sudden a panic attack hit me out of nowhere. My heart rate got really fast out of nowhere, and I got really out of breath. I went to go wake up my mom eventually because I thought I may be having a heart attack. It took me about 2 hours before I finally calmed down and felt the symptoms of “panic attack hangover” instantly after. I had a really bad knot feeling in my stomach, and had no appetite. Fast forward a couple of weeks, we’re on vacation in Seattle. So, we’re in a museum and all of a sudden I start feeling the symptoms again. However, this time I felt really dizzy and like I couldn’t stand up straight and I felt like I was gonna pass out, accompanied by the feelings of my last panic attack. I asked my parents if they could step outside with me to help calm me down, but they refused and kept looking around the museum. They said I needed to handle this myself because they wouldn’t be around forever to help me with this. Eventually, it gets to a point where I’m practically begging them to step outside with me (anyone who has ever had a panic attack knows that all logical thinking is thrown out the window when one kicks in) and finally, they do. Not because they wanted to help me calm down though, but rather out of annoyance. So we’re outside and my dad is yelling at me while I’m having a panic attack because they were excited to see the museum and I was ruining it for them by freaking out and talking to them about what I was feeling. He said that he wasn’t going to put up with this and gave me a choice to either calm down and go with them and not talk at all about how I’m feeling, or stay back. Because I didn’t want to be alone, per the reason I wanted them to step out with me in the first place, I chose to go with them and force myself to calm down. Fast forward another week and college is starting. I’m in a state where most of my day is spent being unproductive because of how unmotivated I have felt and how much anxiety I’ve had doing things as simple as driving. Everyday that college was in session felt like a constant panic attack. I could never calm myself down in classes and was terrified to even go into my classes. I made the decision to drop out because I felt that I wasn’t in the right headspace for college and I needed to get my life under control before going back. Because of this decision, combined with my unproductive days, my parents began to get mad at me saying I’m not developing in a healthy way. My dad had a conversation with me about what is going to change in order to make sure I mature into an adult, and in it he explained that it was his objective to make me feel small and worthless because “what helped me is realizing that I don’t matter and that the universe is huge and I am small.” This is really the jist of it, and if anyone has any questions or if anything is unclear I’ll try to answer what I can in the comments. AITA?