Before i got pregnant, my mother wasn’t keen on my husband and i having a child, she wanted me to go to college first. The way life fell in place, it was easier on us for me to stay home while i was pregnant. i used to call her during the newborn trenches, begging and crying for her help, as she promised she would help out. She would make empty promises, would bail, cancel, and would say no. Whenever she did come over, it was only for ten minutes at a time. when i told her i was pregnant, shortly after, she said she was moving states away. maybe i’m overthinking, but i think it was because i couldn’t ask her for help. Before she moved away, it was months before she last saw our child for goodbye. She just doesn’t seem like she wants to be involved in our lives or our child’s life. For her first birthday, it was last minute and quickly put together, only three of my mom friends could make it. we have no family in our state so it was all mainly friends. During the party, my mom calls to berate me for not inviting her to her birthday. i DID tell her about the party, what day, where, and time. She assumed that we decided to not do anything for her birthday since she didn’t “receive an invite”, but she was invited days before. i told her, “well you moved away eight hours, i didn’t invite you because i didn’t think you would actually show up.” given how she would act like an hour drive was “too much” and “too far” for her. i was so happy and excited for her big day, my mother made me mad but i was not letting her ruin her day for me. I grew up with her making sure every birthday i had was horrible for me to where i couldn’t enjoy or want to enjoy it. she wasn’t going to pull that stunt on my child’s birthday.