Title is not accurate towards the situation, but asks the question I need answered. Context My 21st Birthday is in 3+ months, my girlfriend goes to festivals quite often, and several months ago mentioned a trip she might go one that is at the same time as my birthday. I mentioned this to her, and she very quickly implied that she would go to that festival and I was not allowed to go. We argued a bit before dropping it as it was several months away. Recently she came back from a different festival with her friends, and told me that she would be going on this trip during my birthday, when I asked her if I could go she said "No I'm sorry, the people I'm going with don't want to stay with a man." In addition, as its my twenty first birthday, my family has wanted me to go on/plan some big trip which I was inclined to do as I want to celebrate, which is something I don't really do. Several months ago when we had the first argument, I made a promise to myself that if she decided to go on this trip instead of coming to visit me, then she would not be coming at all. She has stated that she'll just come visit me the day after/soon after my birthday, however I said no due to the fact that I was hurt and dissapointed about her choosing something else instead of visiting me. Other facts, We're in a long distance relationship (8+ months, about a 2 and a half hour plane ride away) She has spent more irl time at festivals with her friends this year than irl time with me She's going to a separate trip for her own 21st that I also cannot come to. AITA for not letting her come to my 21 birthday trip? (Edit for interpersonal conflict): The entire argument/what led me to my anger is not the actual action of delaying visiting me, rather the principle of knowing my birthday was on a certain date and then making other plans for that date.)