For context: I’m (43f) three months along with my first baby. I live with my mother (where I live this is culturally accepted and welcome). I got pregnant by surprise, before my boyfriend and I had moved in together. I work from home, and have preferred to stay put for the time being at least until after postpartum, as my pregnancy has been complicated, and it’s given me a lot of peace of mind to have my mother around during the day in case something comes up. My mother has offered my boyfriend to move in. The house is big, there’s extra space for everyone’s privacy, and he will probably be fully installed in a couple of months after he sorts his current situation out. He has had reservations, as he would rather be fully independent (which I respect and understand) but he has accepted my wishes to be here for now. He has a very good relationship with my mother, and he is comfortable in spite of it not being his initial preference. His parents (who live in his home country) are planning on visiting for a few months before the baby is born, and presumably they will extend their visit for some time after the birth to get to enjoy their grandchild. This visit was scheduled before we discovered the pregnancy. They will be staying with my boyfriend’s siblings, who live in the same city as us. I’m excited to meet them for the first time, and for them to enjoy our child as much as possible. Here’s the thing: he really would like for his parents to come to the house and stay with us for an unspecified period of time after we leave the hospital, particularly his mother. He says he really would like to have her support and guidance in caring for the baby, and also her help so that I can relax and recover. I’m dreading this idea and it’s stressing me out to think about having guests in the house at such a vulnerable time for me. I think we should focus on learning to parent, bonding with the baby and adjust to the new situation. I’m afraid of having mixed criteria (my mother vs my mother in law) when it comes to whatever I’m doing, or for any of them to try to take over my duties. I feel like I will need space to recover and adjust. I’m very comfortable setting strong boundaries around my mother, but not so much his, who I haven’t met in person yet. I really don’t want us to create the expectation that a stay in the house will happen one way or another, particularly when they will be in the same city and within a very reasonable distance. I have told him as much, and said that I want his parents to enjoy the baby as visitors, and will welcome them as often as they need (to the best of my capacity), but as visitors, rather than guests. He kinda gets it, but I can tell his feelings are a bit hurt, and he feels like my mother will be privileged compared to his. AITA? TL;DR: I feel my telling my boyfriend that his parents would not be welcome as guests might be selfish and insensitive to his feelings, while he has accommodated mine in everything I’ve requested.