For context, I (25 F) have not talked to my cousin (26 M) in years. The last time we spoke was at a family reunion where we said “hi,” which was years and years ago. I was invited to his wedding mainly because my entire family, and the entire extended family (cousins, uncles, & aunts) received invitations. His family also can be very rude and disrespectful. My uncle has told me to smile more and that I would not attract men. They also support some people that I do not, but because of guidelines on this community I will not go into that. This is another reason why I am not keen on attending. I am a woman of color, and I don’t want to be in space where that rude behavior is celebrated or tolerated. I understand that I will be surrounded by people with different opinions my entire life. I am very cordial with coworkers, peers, and clients who may share different opinions, because when I am at work my duty is to be respectful to everyone. But, this is my personal free time. So, I think it’s different. My family (who are all white) is very upset with me. I have been called selfish. They say I should go because I have an opportunity to educate others who have different opinions. They view this wedding as an obligation to family, and an important obligation to fill. That as family we must show up for each other. I understand that. But, as I said, we are not close. We don’t have a relationship. I do not think my cousin would even bat an eye if I wasn’t there. I am sure of it. We don’t even follow each other on facebook or instagram lol. Still, am I being unreasonable or selfish for not wanting to attend? I should also mention, I have no excuse not to be there…so maybe that does make me the a…