Posting for my best friend who doesn’t have Reddit. My fiancé and I got engaged in mid 2024 and we're planning a small wedding in Hawaii for the end of April 2026. We wanted something intimate, under 20 people, just family and a few friends. We couldn't make 2025 work because everyone was moving so we decided to wait. Meanwhile his sister just turned 20 and is already planning her 21st birthday trip to Mexico for late July 2026. We hadn't finalized wedding plans until recently since we were still sorting out finances and deciding between eloping or doing a destination wedding. Once we finally made a decision everything blew up. His mom flat out told us it "wouldn't work" for the family to attend. She was speaking for herself, his aunt, his sister, her boyfriend, and his sister's dad. She said no matter what date we picked in 2026 it wouldn't work. No compromise. no discussion. Just "we're prioritizing the 21st birthday because it's a once in a lifetime moment." She actually laughed and said it sucks she won't be able to watch her son get married but oh well. I told her I was hurt and needed space and mentioned l'd be doing wedding dress shopping with just a couple of close people for now. She completely lost it. She called me manipulative and narcissistic, accused me of purposely sabotaging her daughter's birthday, and claimed I was trying to isolate her son. Then she told me I should hear what the whole family thinks of me. According to her they all feel sorry for him, think I'm awful, and believe our relationship is doomed. This was a total shock because I've always been close with them. We've done family trips, dinners, outings and I really thought we had a good relationship. I even encourage my fiance to hangout with the family when he doesn’t want to. This isn't even the first time she's done this. We actually share the same birthday and she always insists on only celebrating hers while ignoring mine. I always make sure to think of her but it's never reciprocated. She also has Borderline Personality Disorder and has always been extremely hard to set boundaries with. She'll shower people with love and gifts one day then flip and act like you're the villain the next. So now I'm sitting here wondering if I'm overreacting for being hurt and frustrated that our wedding is basically being dismissed for a birthday trip. Is it wrong that I just want to go no contact with her? I don't want to ruin my fiancé's relationship with his family but at this point I honestly don't know how to navigate this anymore