I (43f) & my partner (39m) have been together 13 yrs. He has a tenuous but very giving/supportive relationship w/my child, who is now (20m). He's also trans, that's a difficult thing to be right now. We are both fully supportive, have been since he came out; we helped my child transition medically as soon as we could at 18. My child decided to continue living w/us & paying rent (rent being their idea) after 18. His bio dad's family would have paid for college but would expect "normal" (non trans) behavior/appearance. My child works for 2 non profits. When they can't afford it, we don't make issues. When they need something important, we supply. We also supply food, Internet, all streaming services, open access to our vehicle, open house to guests (we even let their first serious BF move in after 3 years together. I made sure he paid rent for our spare room upstairs.) I also suffer from severe & rare chronic illness, cannot work & am in active end stage renal disease about to start dialysis. I just spent 18 days in ICU-in the hospital for 64. My child visited infrequently, once to tell me I needed to "get rid" of my partner (who owns the house we all live in). They had also had their new boyfriend stay for a weekend that turned into 5 months. He made no attempt to connect with us in a polite roommate way, avoided us entirely & generally stirred the pot in the house. Before my hospitalization my child had been BEGGING me for help in how to make him leave. He started staying because he had a severe issue with his then roommates. That's why I didn't press the issue of him staying with us. We had an exit strategy in place, he was to stay two months, paying $500/month (half my child's infrequent rent) then secure a new place to stay. I got sick quickly, before this could be enforced or discussed directly with him as he actively avoided us. When I asked my son about it while I was sick, he blew past it. Keep in mind we were never anything but welcoming to him. I will own the fact have that we don't always see eye to eye. About once every six months, we have a serious family meeting to reexamine expectations & needs & they can get ugly. While I was in ICU, I also gave permission for my S/O to purchase a car for my child, 2.5k at an in hospital family meeting. I came home from the hospital; I had told my son his BF needed to go before I got home w/4 wks notice-we got into an argument about him still being there. They were cold to me & it seemed to be planned. They huffed out of the house, catching a ride, haven't been home in 7 days other than to get stuff twice. They continue to refuse to talk. I've tried to give them space-it's becoming a financial issue as they didn't pay rent at all for the time I was in the hospital & my S/O had to be with me because I needed the help/support. I'm now feeling like I should formally evict. He refuses to talk to me or address issues-DON'T want to go this far, but I don't know what to do. AITAH?