So after my birthday party on my actual birthday no one wished me happy birthday, there’s this thing people do on insta for people’s birthdays where they post pictures of them and wish them happy birthday yk? And I did that for all of my friends but when it came to me no one did. Not even my best friend which made me rlly sad and depressed so I fell into a depressive episode the start of summer. Then I saw on one of the instagram prompts they were asking, “HG of the year” and my friend tagged everyone but me and as someone who sees her as a best friend like even a sibling. That made me rlly sad because I felt like she didn’t like me, so I was frustrated with her so I didn’t talk to her. Then she saw I was posting worrying things on my instagram note and would reach out asking if I was ok. I would ignore her because again I was frustrated with her and thinking like oh now she wants to speak to me. I just felt like she was doing it out of pity. She kept checking up on me and I would tell her I don’t feel like explaining because I was scared I would sound needy and ruin our friendship and again I was still hurt. Then I finally opened up and told her what I was going through, she didn’t respond but then she texted me stating how it was frustrating how I wouldn’t communicate but she was grateful I ended up saying smth but she wanted to take a break so I agreed. The day we were supposed to talk again came and she didn’t text me and I didn’t want to because it was her idea in the first place to take a break. But two days passed and I missed her a lot so I called her and she didn’t seem very happy at all to talk to me. The call was awkward but after that day we didn’t speak and I felt like it was too awkward now and seeing how she was ok without me made me sad because I was here missing her so much like that’s my best friend you know? So I was missing her every night and I cried some nights too. But I talked to my older sister about everything and she said I should talk to her and clear things up and I was feeling better enough to so I did. I texted her asking how she was and that I miss her and she said she was ok and I said that’s good then she said “I don’t wanna be friends anymore I’m sorry” I didn’t reply for awhile because that hit me like a truck and I needed to process this for a minute. After a hour I said “ok I’ll leave you alone but can I know why” and she sent me a long message basically stating how my lack of communication and how I acted was hurting her So after she said that I apologized firstly and tried to explain my actions. I think it was hard for to understand but yeah. I’d like to add that I didn’t talk to her girlfriend to make her uncomfortable that wasn’t my intention me and her gf were friend before they dated so. As of now I am going to the mental hospital to get help because since this happened ive gotten worse and I don't want to because I want her to see I'm trying my best and I sit in my guilt about this situation everyday